I am married and I chat a lot online. Recently, I have met someone whom I have grown very close to.
To make a long story short, He has asked me to leave my husband because I have complained about being unhappy so many times, and he claims he can fill my emptiness. He is good looking, seems really caring and thinks the world of me and my sons, says he has a lot of things going for him and wants to offer me and my two young boys everything.
I considered leaving with him although my problems at home are minor and can be fixed. The sad thing is, is that my husband thinks the world of me and allthough we have our problems, I can tell he would rope the moon for me. I don't even know what I am looking for that I am not finding at home. Maybe its the sex, I definitely enjoy it with my online lover...we just cant keep our hands off each other.
Well, come January my online lover says he wants me to his self and I thought I could do it, but lately I have been having second thoughts. I don't want my kids to end up like me and my siblings because of what my parents divorce did to us and also I have realized that I am truly lucky to have a man who loves me like my husband does and loves his kids without an end.
We are moving soon and I believe I can not find the courage to tell my lover goodbye, that I have changed my mind, so I am just going to disappear and not call him again. My heart hurts right now because all he wants is to be loved (has had a rough childhood) but there are things that I just cant accept about him, and I have this funny feeling about him wanting to replace my kids father. He has already stated things, he wants my boys to change if we end up together, which bothers me because they are still babies and don't understand.
So I guess I have to just let him go and pretend it never happened. I know it will be hard because I have grown a place for him in my heart and its going to be hard not to break down and call him and say I'm sorry I do Love you, but that's just going to start it all over again. I am also scared that he doesn't care if my husband finds out about us and that he would get us caught on purpose so that I would be free to go with him.
So I am just going to say goodbye to him in my heart and hope one day he finds someone to make him happy.
Update for trying to say goodbye
Thank you all for your messages. Just an update, me and my online lover ended things because he couldnt accept the fact that I could not give him all my time while being married.
He got upset because I couldnt call him on Christmas day because I had family get togethers to tend to. Thank god, that I didnt run off with this man he seems to have a rough time holding in his anger and frustrations over very minor things.
He is on my messenger showing online and its killing me not to click on his name and fix things so we can still be friends, but maybe its just not worth it. Afterall, I was only being myself - a married woman.
Thanks again... Sincerely, Trying to say goodbye