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      I am a NOBODY

     


He is my crush at the University. The first time I saw JB, I was mesmerized by his adorable eyes and smile. He is a year older than me so he never got the chance to know my name(but of course I did!). My friend is also a friend of his, and his girlfriend is a batch mate of mine. There was this time that my friend used my number to text JB, and since JB replied to my number, I got the chance to text him. That was the start of our communication with each other. We only get to see each other if we bump into the mall or at school, but not a compound sentence was exchanged, just a mere nod or a simple Hi or Hello would do. The relationship we had is purely until the phone, but we both have this mutual understanding between us. It went on for years, even after he graduated and has moved to another place.

After years of communicating, we finally decided to see each other personally. It was awkward at first: JB fetching me at home, JB driving the motorcycle while I was at the back holding on to dear life, and especially, talking to JB. But since it was only the two of us, I grew out of the awkwardness and was beginning to feel comfortable with him. We stayed at our rest house near the beach, gazing at the sky with the moon and stars looking down at us. As the night went on, we talked on everything - his trip, his life at work, and even his love life. And what are two people, both single(though both in a relationship with other) going to do in a cold night, alone together and has once talked on doing the inevitable when got the chance to be together? so yeah, we did what we did(my first and last time to ever do it). The immoral act of two people, whose not even in a legal relationship. We knew what we did was wrong. We both have thought of the consequences if we do it but still we pursued. But as long as no one we know knows about this, our secret is safe. After then, we both went home. He never communicated back at me after that night. I have thought that this would happen, thought that he would think it would just be a one-night stand kinda thing but have also hoped it wouldn't. It saddens me knowing that because of what we did, I have lost a friend who means a lot to me. I know our relationship with each other wouldn't be the same as before but i wish what he told me that night that we'd still be civil, would be real. I didn't communicate with him again, not because of pride, but because I wouldn't want to bother a person who doesn't want to be bothered by a nobody.    

 

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