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      I loved him...


I was in 2nd year college, he was in 4th year college. We were classmates for one semester, just before he would graduate for college. Our classmates would tease us whenever they see us together, which happens almost always since we belong on the same group. Maybe the teasing made our feelings grow fonder each day. On the last day of our class, that was march 10, he asked me if he could talk to me so we went inside an empty classroom. I didn't expect that he would ask me if he could kiss me. But then because of my feelings for him (which was still uncertain that time), i said it was fine. That was the beginning of our relationship, our "so-called" love for each other. We kept communicating everyday through text and call since he is miles away from me and we only see each other every weekend or twice a month.


September 8 is the fiesta of their town and he invited me to go there. But days before their fiesta, whenever i call him, there is this strange feeling in me that something is not right. I had this feeling that he's got other woman beside him, making him uncomfortable whenever i talk to him. My instinct was telling me to end our relationship then so it wouldn't hurt me much, but because of my deep love for him, i ignored my instinct and went to their town, bringing my close friends with me for support since that would also be the first time that i would meet his family. On my way to their town, i tried calling him to tell him I was on my way but his phone is turned off. I was having butterflies in my stomach, and still, i ignored it and went on anyway. I asked my classmate who is also his neighbor where his house is so I'd be able to see him and talk to him. We went to two of his house, but his family told us he wasn't around. We arrived in their town at 9:00 pm, has already reached 3:00 am, but still, even his shadow or a strand of his hair, i didn't see. I was feeling uneasy, thinking where he is, what he's doing, and who he is with. Super disappointed, me and my friends went home at 4:00 am. On the way home, i tried not to cry, hiding my feelings because my friends were with me. I tried to be strong and think everything was just fine, but i knew it wasn't. Not until my friend hugged me and gave me a hankie that i broke down and cried. I cried the whole day, not even bothering to eat. While I was crying my heart out, someone sent me a message. That someone is a girl, HIS girl specifically. My boyfriend that night was with another woman! It made me cry even more. I just couldn't believe he did it to me, since I have done all my best to keep our relationship and to make it work. I cried for three straight days, not even a minute to rest my eyes from my falling tears. My heart just couldn't face the fact that I have been fooled by the only guy i have ever loved. 


After three days of never-ending tears, I finally decided to stop crying for a guy who is not even worth it, decided to forget him (which isn't easy), and decided not to trust someone easily. I was numb from head to foot, even a very sad movie didn't make me tear, even a cheer from my friends couldn't make me smile. Up until now, 3 years later, the memory still saddens me. Because i loved him. I just wish he did so with me.


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