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      Heartache Agony

     


When you first go to secondary school everyone knows that you meet new people.In my new school i made friends fast. In my maths class i was looking around sort of observing the new people I'd never met before, when my eyes locked on this girl. She was the most beautiful person i had ever seen in my life.  At this point i wasn't in love her, i was only about 11, I'd say i was just attracted. I never thought looking at this girl that I'd be heartbroken and in emotional agony 5 years later. I never dared talk to her, however one day i plucked up the courage and sat in the row of seats in front of her. We hit it off right away. Just as friends. In school I'm somewhat of a class clown, not in a bad way, and i started joking around, showing off in front of her and actually made her laugh. Seeing that smile on her face because of something i did or said was one of the happiest times of my life. I began neglecting my friends just to talk to her. Year after passed by untill i was in my third year of high school, and i was in virtually everyone of her lessons. I remember our drama lesson. I completely ignored my friends all together.  I sat with her and her friend at the other side of the classroom. After she started to get to know me more than she already did, she began asking me to sit near her in lessons. I was then starting to fall in love. Unrequited love however. What happened next was we got to the stage in school were we had the option of picking our lessons. She chose completely different ones. That year when we got our new timetables, i wasn't in one lesson. She still talked to me though at break and lunchtime. I used to go to the part of the playground were she was just to catch a glimpse of her, even if it was for a split second. That second brightened my day. Whats even more pathetic was that i used to put a star in my school planner on the day that she talked to me. How sad is that. After the Christmas that year she never talked to me at all. This made me fall deeper and deeper. I couldn't understand why she had blanked me. I couldn't stop feeling for her. I'm in my last year of school now and i really don't want to leave. The main reason being that i may never see her again and i don't think i could deal with that. I know it's love because i get a weird feeling in my stomach every time i see her or her name is mentioned. It's not a sexual thing, sex is the least thing on my mind. I love her for who she is. Loving someone who doesn't love you back or let alone even know how you feel is one of the worst pains ever. I haven't got a clue what to do!

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