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      Impossible love - please help


This is more of me telling my situation and needing advice, rather than a story I have to share.

Four months ago I met an incredible guy. I was actually in a 1-year relationship at the time we started talking. I knew him from my where I lived, we worked out at the same gym and everything but he lives in a different state and only comes around here every now and then. Anyway, this relationship I was in was a bad situation, I was very miserable, I just couldn't break up with this guy. I had developed an eating disorder. I was always in a bad mood. I just didn't have enough strength to pull myself out. Then Ryan and I started talking more and more. I realized something had to change. I also saw something in him that I have yet to find in anyone else. Ryan gave me the strength I needed to break up with my boyfriend, and to start taking care of myself again. The way I feel when I am with him is surreal. It's as if nothing else in the world exists, only my love for him. But there is so much between us right now. Miles, years, EVERYTHING! We are at very different stages in our lives. I am still in school and he is really beginning his life. (He's 3 and a half years older.) But when we are together, it all goes away, we are on the same level. I have dated people but none of them compare to Ryan. I cannot get even remotely involved with anyone because he is all I want.

Ryan and I have been through a lot with this and what to do about it. We both feel the same in the sense that we have never met anyone else that we connect with better. He told me he was falling in love with me, which was something he had NEVER said. (He was quite the playboy in his past.) Ryan and I feel the same for each other. However, we both know that right now things are just too crazy, our lives are too different to have a real relationship, but we want something. We have had our differences in how to handle this- we have both gotten scared about getting hurt. We went a month without talking because he freaked out. Then he called me one day saying that he realized that his life without me is not complete. Then the last time he came home I got really scared because when he's here its almost like a dream. It's as if it's not my life, it feels so amazing and that's what scares me. I have no control of my feelings and that frightens me.

My last relationship was such a disaster, it greatly changed me and how I deal with things now. I know we are meant to be together. I just have this feeling, no matter how far apart we are or how we upset each other, I know it will all work out.

I am not insecure about him or myself. Ryan gives me so much strength, he brings out the best in me. Right now though we are not on the best terms. He was home a couple weeks ago and that's when I freaked out. He was very upset with me and since then we haven't talked much. I want to tell him everything, but I cant. I really feel that he is the one. I have met many men, many men that I would have easily fallen for had I not have met Ryan.

There is something there that I don't think I will ever find again. Should I call him and tell him everything? He is coming into town in a week and a half again. Please write me, I need advice. Tell me what you think.




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