When i was 13 i met a guy, hes 2yrs older than me. he also has a girlfriend he loves very much. we met our first day of 8th grade (he failed 7th and is now in my grade). at first i thought nothing of the fact hes the only guy i can talk without worrying about what i say.
then january came. we were the best of friends. i loved hangin out with him and vice versa. hes not the best guy, he loves getting in trouble. well he got expelled from our school. it broke my heart to not see him there in school anymore. i finally realized i was falling for him... hard.
i went about a week without seeing him, and thinking about him every second. it was febuary 8, 2008 when i saw him again. it was icy, very icy, so we had a delay. my bus was late cuz our roads were very icy. there he was waitng for his bus to come. he came up to me as soon as i was in the door and we hugged for a while. then my other friend told me we should go so we dont get in trouble. she doesnt like him very much. another week passed and it was feb. 20th 3 days after BOTH of our birthdays (we have the same bday) we hug again. that was the last time i see him till may.
cuz it was so long and i knew he had a g/f i thought id try to get over him. wrong move. i started having anxiety/panic attacks for hours daily. it was horrible. i knew i had to see him. just my luck, soon after i saw him and the attacks stopped. but only for a few days at a time.
now we're freshman, hes back at my school. hes still dating the same girl. but sometimes i think he likes me too. we spend all our time together, literally. hes with me more than he is with his g/f but he doesnt love me like i love him.
he loves to torture me. he gives me hugs all the time, looks at me like he wants to kiss me, stares deep in my eyes, and sits real close to me. we're always on aim together, we have most of our classes together but he just doesnt love me back. he even knows how i feel too. its horrible.
maybe one day he will love me back, maybe not, but i know in my heart that he will always be my first love. unrequited or not.