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      Funny Isn't It? What We Do For Love


I think life's greatest realizations come at the most grimmest times in life, at least that is what I have realized.  What is love? I have always tried to find that perfect definition for this confusing question.  For I am surrounded by it's definition by everything around me, a romantic movie, a novel, lovers in a cafe or close by friends. A euphoria of sweet whispers, a glance, a kiss or a tender touch of a bond between two souls.  I guess I am a romantic at heart wanting to feel needed and wanted both physically and emotionally.  I have yearnings to be swept off my feet and carried away into the sunset. Who doesn't fantasize about that?  But what I think, what most of us really want, is to be needed and wanted, in that other person's life.  Appreciated for our efforts that we make, to make the other person happy.


I guess love is in a way comprimise to make each other happy, and it only truly is blissful if it is a two way street, what I mean is that you can not try to do all you can making the other happy if the other doesn't comprimise too and tries to do something that brightens your day.


Sometimes we try to fill that need, that we think will make us happy, at least it may superficially, but not deep down.  I thought that being wanted and desired is what was missing in my life and when I was tantalized with sweet words and a firey glance, I felt whole again, like I was desirable and wanted again, what was missing from my life.  But I realized it was like a role that I was playing, to fill the need of what I thought the other needed, for there was no heart in it for me, this cat and mouse game I was playing.  I realized that what I was missing was the need to be needed and what I tried mattered, even if it wasn't perfect, I TRIED..... and the ONE thing that I wanted most of all was to be told is "You don't have to be perfect, your heart is in it, I appreciate your efforts, you always do things for me, let me take the reins and do something you want."


I am a physical and emotional person, I try to make people happy for it makes me happy to see others smile.  I love my husband even more than before, for I realized that I don't need the physical if I don't have him beside me. 


I guess for everyone love is diffrent and it's what you make it to be, but you have to comprimize a bit, put yourself in the other's shoes as the phrase goes, try to make the other person happy by doing something unexpected.  Tell them that I need you or I'm sorry if I'm not 100% there for you now....just communicate.




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