I'm an idiot when it comes to relationships.
Alright, I'm not certain if this story belongs on this site, but it's a story I've never told another living soul and would like very much to unload off my chest.
We met at an amusement park in the summer going into 8th grade. If you guys remember what those days were like, you would glance, secretly and quickly, at the other to see if they were watching you. If they weren't, you would do something our say something to catch their attention. I can say proudly that i attempted to do exactly as i just described, and i must have done something right because that crush turned into the best thing that has happened to me.
I asked her out at the beginning of the school year at the varsity football game and things went on like a typical 8th grade relationship. You know, a little awkward at first, but you would always do little sweet things that you can look back on a smile at.
We made a make-believe beer company named "RHINESTONE", passed notes during the school day and tell each other what we loved about them (and arguing who loved each other more). My favorite one was when she wrote "i love you because your eyes remind me of honey and chocolate pudding." Haha i still don't get the honey part but i will admit they look like pudding. We even named a star while laying on a playground under the stars.
Mid way through our 9th grade year, i made a devastating and the biggest mistake of my life. I will not justify it, i was an idiot. I didn't realize what i had until it was gone. I broke up with her. For reasons i couldn't tell you but my story changed depending on who i told it too, and i realize how blind i was.
See I'm the kind of person where if you are a cute girl and pay attention to me, i develop a small crush. They usually don't last long, but they blind me. Anyways, it could have been because of another girl, or because of a note i received from her. Ill never sort out the correct answer. Call me a douche bag or typical guy, but i don't care, i deserve it.
Anyway, i realized my mistake and hastened to ask her out again and rekindle our relationship. And i got shot down (which i rightly deserved). She said that we should hang out before we give it another go, which was a fair offer that i accepted. So we hung out and whenever we did things felt exactly as they had before :)
This went on for two weeks during which i got shot down again. And then, i made the second biggest mistake of my life.
Do you remember when i said "I'm the kind of person where if you are a cute girl and pay attention to me, i develop a small crush," well guess what. Yep, another girl entered the picture.
She had none of the qualities i see in Kristina. She wasn't funny, she didn't smile all the time, she didn't look me in the eyes like i was the only thing in her world. She isn't creative, clever, and artistic and is almost impossible to hold a conversation with. We were awkward and held no future.
Here comes the good part. Well the day that Kristina decided to give me a call telling me we were ready to give it another shot, i asked out that one girl. Shoot me now, I'm an idiot. And, being the blind guy I am, I said some things that are foggy but things that Kristina definitely didn't deserve to hear. The one thing i remember doing was blaming her for waiting so long.
We stopped talking, me and the other girl broke up and Kristina and one of her old boyfriends quickly got into a relationship (which has lasted a good year and a quarter and is still going.)
We finally began talking again. Not in the way in which i would have liked, but talking none the less. And the night that we first talked, i mean talked, not just a quick hi or wave in the hall, is the night i realized i was in love with her.
I have thought about her every morning, noon, and night since then, and hold any kind of relationship that still exists in the highest regard.
She believes that there is one person out there in which a person can live a fairy-tale life. But she also believes that there is more than one person that you can be in love with. She is in love with her current boyfriend, that I'm sure. She said also that she has loved 2 others, which i hope i am one of.
As of right now, 7:57 p.m., K.A.B is the one and only person for me. I am only 17 years old and am lucky enough to have already fallen in love. Hopefully there are more girls out their that i can be in love with, but none with the same stunning qualities as my fairy-tale princess. And all i can do is wait for her current boyfriend to make the same mistake i made.
If you are a believer in prayer, pray for me.
Pray that i can find another like her,
or that divine intervention occurs and we can be together.