The forbidden love
We met through a friend. First we were just friends, you see he liked my cousin. Things changed. And I fell in love with him. I am a Pakistani Muslim and he is a Kashmiri Hindu. He came in my life at a very crucial time, the middle of Senior year, a time of tensions and worries and many hopes. He was very sweet, funny, as well as charming. Months went by and we soon learned that our grad nite was the same night! I was ecstatic! I was finally going to meet him in person! Up until then we had talked online and on the phone. I can say that Grad Nite was the most anticipated night of my life, and at this point I had no idea why. He was the first person, friend, I had ever opened up to regarding my family problems. There was something special about him. Just something.
The night came. We were together and I spoke a record of the least words ever. :) I mean to say I am a very talkative person, I babble. But that night I did not. When we departed a friend, Kris told me that he and I looked perfect together. I responded by saying that that is not possible because he is Hindu.
A couple days after Grad Nite two of my really good friends urged me to find out how he felt about me. With much convinving, I did. And then we both were left with a question to answer, What now?
Ah, well, we took the chance and started to "go out." The problems arose. But, we soon learned we were about to attend the same University in the fall. So, that brought our hopes up and we know had something to look forward to. I was fortunate enough to meet him at his graduation because it was also my cousins. And that night I hugged for the first time and never wanted to let go.
Those three months of summer were full of anticipation and secrecy. Neither of our families or many friends knew. But we did.
When we were together at UM together things were beautiful at first, we had our issues, but we worked them out.
Then, we broke up for the first time.
How does one explain the pain?
He broke my heart. Why? I took the decision and have never felt horrible in my life. He says I exaggerate but, my heart went into pieces. I went against everything for him, for us. I felt betrayed. And it hurt. Too much.
My really good friend and Angel was there for me and helped me get him back. And I did. Things were great again. He was himself. Adorable, stupid, very lost and cute!
The year was coming to a close and we were about to part for another three and a half mnths.
It is impossible to explain how much that hurts. So, we spent a great deal of time together.
Beautiful days. We celebrated our one year anniv. And then we had to depart.
How does one miss someone so much? Its so sad.
Those mnths are going by, but I feel I am losing him, and I do not want to. He switched his major so now he is going to transfer to another University, far away. And I may never see him again after this fall semester, yet he does not get that I Love Him so much that I am okay with that separation, but not the one that he has created.
I need him. But he has his own issues which he cannot even tell me about or chooses not to and I feel so far from him. Physical distance is no distance compared to emotional distance.
I Miss Him. Can't he just open up to me again? So I can at least feel that he is still a part of me. I am here for him.
If he knows this, then why do I still ache so much for him? What will become of us? The love for which we put our parents trust on the line.
What's wrong my Motay?