Young unfair love.
bsp;I'm 15, and yes, I do not know the full meaning of love, but I do know I felt something powerful in my heart whenever my ex-boyfriend was around me.We met at a Hockey game, when I was with my friends, and I automatically saw the boy I was eye-goggling over. No, it was not that guy that I broke up with, truthfully, it was his friend, later on who I met and found out he was a really nice guy. Well, at the time I had a crush on another boy at our school (two crushes all-in-all) and my friend Kate found out I liked this boy and shouted it loudly, making the boys behind us focus their attention on us.I was mortified, embarrassed, and ready to strangle her. One of the guys with blonde hair leaned over and looked at me saying, "You like him?" grinning a smile to me. Right then and there I felt a flutter in my stomach and I knew he was something. Two or three days later, i found out his e-mail and added him to my msn messenger. Ah yes, the cliché online asking out idea. Well we talked until 2 in the morning. Thankfully it was a weekend so we didn't have to bump into each other at school. I didn't know him very well, so I wasn’t ready to date.But he kept saying he really liked me, and I was well confused, i wasn't sure if I really did like him. This was my first real boyfriend, to keep in mind. The next day we talked again, from 12 in the afternoon till 10 at night. He asked me if I wanted to go out with him, and I answered "I don't really know you enough to date you." But of course, he kept asking and finally I said "alright," and he promised we would get to know each other throughout the relationship, that part, he did not lie about. The next day, Monday, was a snow day, so we made a date to meet at our school and go walk around, or go to the mall. I was so nervous I asked my friend to come and she said she'll bring her date also. That made me feels so much better. When we got to the school, I saw my date and I was ready to turn around and head straight home and lock myself in my room. He made his way towards me and pulled me into a hug. Weirdly enough, this was the first time I’ve ever really met him, I actually thought he was new to the school. As Christmas gets near, his mother adoring me, gets me a real diamond necklace and i got him a $40 hat. Two months pass by making it February, the month of my birthday, and the month of disaster. In that month, we were totally crazy about each other. About a week or two before my birthday, I find out he's been hanging around one special girl. I was confused, but let it slip because maybe she was just a good close friend of hers, and I didn’t really know the whole routine of this girlfriend went.
One night, I was sitting in my kitchen on the family laptop talking to my friends, when I get a call from someone. I pick it up and answer, and to my surprise it was my old elementary school friend, and my ex-boyfriends cousin, Matt. He told me he was at the movies with “Cody” and “Danielle” and that they were making out in the theatres together. I told him that this isn’t a funny joke to pull. But he wasn’t kidding. He took “Cody’s” cell phone and made up an excuse to use it. I hung up on Matt and sat down.
I didn’t know what was going on. I thought it was a horrible joke to kid on me. But I knew Matt wouldn’t joke around like this. I was starting to shake when my friend calls. I told her I would talk to her tomorrow, that tonight just wasn’t the night.
All night I was waiting for “Cody” to come online, he never did, so I tried to go to sleep. The next day I get up, have a shower, do my thing, when around 12 I call “Cody” and ask him what happened last night.
He told me he went to a movie, and I told him “I know what really happened.” He told me that he’s sorry and he never attended to do it. I told him why did you? He said she came on to me. I didn’t know who to believe. I kept getting e-mails from “Danielle” saying how sorry she is, that she doesn’t want me to hate her and all that stuff. I was angry, and upset.
The next day, Sunday, “Cody” and I had planned to do something at my house. We broke up, but I still wanted him to come over and talk. That morning I went into my moms room to tell her that we broke up, but she knew I stayed up all night crying. I walked up to her bed that she was sitting up in reading, and I fell down beside her, curled up at her hip and sobbing my heart out.
“I thought he was the one. He told me he loved me and everything. I loved him mom,” I kept repeating over and over like a national anthem. She soothed me down, and told me things will get better, that he should come over and that he and I should talk.
Around noon he came over, we sat in my room on my bed in silence. Immediately he took me in his arms, and I cried on his shoulder telling him I was sorry. I don’t understand why I was saying “I’m sorry,” over and over. He brushed away my tears and combed my hair back saying “Don’t ever be sorry about this, you did nothing wrong, nothing, this was all my fault. You are amazing, beautiful and intelligent. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine” Those words are stuck in my head, engraved there forever.
He laid me down on the bed, and laid in front of me staring into my eyes. And then, out of nowhere, he began to cry, and right then and there, I knew, he was sorry. I knew he was in pain, and was sorry for everything he ever did. I pulled him against me like he was a kid in pain and I rocked him telling him “I still love you.” That night, he gave me a kiss I’ll never forget. He gave me the kiss that was full of passion, but at the same time awkward. The only time I ever kissed him feeling awkward.
The day before my birthday he called asking if we were still together, because his mom wanted to go birthday shopping for me. I didn’t want to say yes just because of the gifts, but I said yes, including “not for the gifts, only for you.”
On March.12th 2008, we broke up. I ended it. I ended it because all my friends hated him and I couldn’t go with their whining and complaining, and he used me and took advantage of me. But I am proud to say, I’m still a virgin. We were together for three months, and for a first relationship for me, I thought that was pretty good, and it was his longest relationship also.
Now, in the present, as I stand today, we barely talk, actually I try to avoid him. He’s in the ‘popular’ group, and I’m well…far from it.
Let's jump our way up high,high above the sky,Out into the stars,way out in the dark.We'll find ourselves in space,Together we'll be safe.Let's get lost within the time,roaming through and though we may see light,it's really such a sight.And though it's only fair,that out here we must share,the past we try to erase,and the future we must create,that i'll be here by your side,and together we will die,together in peace,that you, my dear, will alwaysbe a star, in outer space.