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      The End Isn't Always Happy

     


Everybody always says "If it's meant to be it will happen and if it ends it wasn't meant to be" or "You'll have a happy ending, if it's not happy, it's not the end"

Oh, but it is the end. And I'm not happy. It is meant to be and it won't happen. And I can't bear to think that it's my fault. I met this boy, at school, and totally thought that he was an annoying loser who was possibly gay. Either way, the boy, we'll call him Alex and I became great friends. He would flirt with me, but I wouldn't flirt back. I was too consumed with my best friend whom I had a crush on. My best friend, Sam, always had a girlfriend and it broke my heart every time I found out. One day, I grew tired of crying over Mary or Rachel or Julia or whoever Sam happened to be going out with and began to realize how much a nice guy Alex was. I realized he wasn't annoying, wasn't gay, and totally wasn't a loser. He was funny, smart, a true gentleman and I hadn't noticed. Soon, I began to crush on him. On Valentines Day, he asked me out and of course I said yes. The crush on Sam went away and I fell in love with Sam. When I say "in love" I mean truly, truly in love with him. I'm a clumsy and shy person and don't like to be put on the spot. Whenever Alex tried to hug me, I would run into things, when he called me pretty or said he loved me I was at a loss of what to say back. I felt like a complete idiot for not being able to say "I love you" back. At my birthday party, a friend of mine blurted out to Alex that he should go out with my best friend, Jill. I got very nervous because I was embarrassed. I started to babble, "Yeah, you should go out, you really should haha, yes that would be cute," and lets spare me some humiliation. I was totally ashamed the rest of the night, and I let that show by being a giggly, immature little girl. Not surprisingly, Alex dumped me the next day which happened to be my ACTUAL birthday. The next day, after the break up, I walked into school to find Sam's old girlfriend, snaked around Alex. I didn't even know what to say. I just walked away and never looked back. Alex didn't speak to me, didn't look at me. And I felt horrible. They broke up eventually, after what seemed like eternity, and he began speaking to me again. We became friends and he got another girlfriend and crushed me in two. The last day of school, I got into a fight with the friend from the party. Long story short, I learned that Alex didn't break up with me because of what happened at the party. My friend, Olivia, was jealous of me and she decided to tell him I still loved Sam. He believed it, started crying and broke up with me so I could be happy with Sam instead of being weighted down by him. He told me he was still in love with me, and that he was sorry. A happy story would involve us getting back together but like I said, it's not a happy ending. He walked away when his girlfriend asked him to sign her yearbook and left me to start crying in the middle of the hallway. Sam now has a girlfriend he is madly in love with even though I know for a fact she is cheating on him. I have tried to tell him but I don't want to be the "bad guy". I sadly have a crush on him again and can't even bear to think that he doesn't like me back. So, both have girlfriends, I love them both and can't have either one whether or not they like me back or not. Alex and I are over. Sam and I never began. And it's the end. THEY got their happy endings, their silver carriages, and beautiful princesses. I am sitting here typing this, eating Ben and Jerry's trying not to bawl.


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