Two ships passing in the night
The story I tell is not about my soul mate but I know that because of this person, I was able to find my soul mate.
I was only 23 and a complete mess. I had spent the last 5 years in a cage with a serious lack of self confidence. I had two children and realized I was in a loveless, mentally abusive marriage for the sake of those children. Finally after one of our worst fights ever, I realized that I could no longer tolerate living a life of unhappiness not even for my children. I finally said enough is enough and I packed my belongings and loaded my two children in the car.
We stayed with my friend and her husband until I could get on my feet. Finally I found a place of my own and moved out. The night after moving into my new place, my best friend and I went out. It was the first time I had ever gone out to a club . I noticed this guy across the room. He had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. He was laughing at something and glanced my way and our eyes met. I noticed he was laughing at something a girl had said to him so I had assumed it was his girlfriend. I continued to dance and then my friend asked if I was ready to go. I said yes. So we left the club but as we started on our way home, something was pulling me back to the club. I can't explain it but though I was ready I still felt the need to go back.
We went back to the club and my friend asked if I wanted another drink and I said yes. So she went to the bar and I started to dance not even giving the guy with a beautiful smile a second thought. The next moment he was in front of me and asked if he could dance with me. Needless to say I said yes once we established he didn't have a girlfriend and for the remainder of the night we danced.
At one point I was pretty far into my cups and was drunk. I told him that if he were looking for a "hit it and quit it" he was wasting his time. I told him I have two kids and I am not that kind of girl. He started to laugh and danced me towards his friend and said "I love kids, tell her Jay". Jay said, "yeah he really does love kids". Well it started to get late and it was finally time to go home. He asked for my number and asked if he could take me out to dinner because he would be leaving for his home in Chicago the beginning of next week. I told him how about I just make dinner.
The next evening he arrived at 8:00 and we ate the small meal I prepared As the evening progressed we ended up sitting next to each other on the couch and he had a confession to make. He told me that he told his friends that if he didn't have sex with me by 11:00pm, he would meet them at the club. I then looked at the clock and it was 5:00am. I laughed and said "I guess that sucks for you" He said he didn't regret one moment we spent together but it was time that he went back to his hotel. When I walked him to the door, he asked if he could kiss me goodbye. I said yes and after we kissed and he started to leave, he turned around and asked if he could still keep in contact with me. I told him I would like that.
Needless to say for the next 17 months, he and I spoke almost every night on the phone. We had movie dates. We would watch the same movie and stay on the phone even if we were engrossed in the movie, at least we were doing it together. I was there for him to talk to when his brother died and he was there anytime I needed a shoulder to cry on. I was getting everything I needed from a relationship without the sexual intimacy. Because of him I was able to keep from getting involved in meaningless, senseless relationships that were doomed for failure because of all the extra baggage I had from my previous marriage.
Throughout the 17 months, I saw him twice. Once when he flew me to Chicago on Valentines Day, where we finally broke the intimacy barrier and let me tell you it was worth it. The other was when he went to Orlando after his brothers death. Not once had he met my children but he still sent them gifts Of course we broke up because in our hearts we knew it was only for a time. We were like two passing ships in the night and fate had us brought together for the time we needed one another. Because of him I was able to find independence without needing the physical attention of a man. I was able to find myself and to leave the door open for the one that I was suppose to share my life with.
I am now with the love of my life and have been for over 6 yrs. I love and have loved no other as I love my husband. Do I think of those 17 months, of the two lost passing ships in the night? Of course, otherwise I would not be typing this. Don't look at your previous loves as lost because you were suppose to meet them in your life.
When one door closes another one will open. As far as my soul mate, the husband I have now, well that is a love story for another time :).