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I was married 11 years and with my husband a total of 14 years. I married at the tender age of 19. The 'all-knowing, I've done everything, been everywhere, sewn my wild oats' 19 year old. Wow was I wrong.
The first 2 years of the marriage were wonderful. I felt very in love and I felt my life was happy. The following years, though, would tell a different story. After my 2 children were born, my son in 1992 and my daughter in 1994, I felt there was something missing out of my life. I had always had that feeling but never as strongly as I did from 1992 on. I no longer felt "in love" with my husband.
The following 7 years were filled with cheating and lying. I was always looking for something better and had the horrible feeling that I had settled for this man because I felt it was my only chance to get married. I was overweight and felt no-one else would want me. But as the years went by I learned differently and felt I had made a huge mistake.
I didn't love this man. I had grown up and realized that I wanted my life to go in a different direction than he did. He was very controlling and I was never allowed to make a decision and his way was always the right way. I had to get out. Even if it meant being a single parent and alone the rest of my life, I knew I couldn't stay.
So I left in September of 2000. Bought my own house got a better paying job and started my new life. I was still longing to find my soul mate. I was lonely and desperately wanted to find the love of my life. Well then he came along. I knew then that I had never loved before. He is the most wonderful man I have ever met in my life. He has shown me and my children what a real family is like and what it feels like to truly be loved unconditionally.
I truly believed he saved all three of us. He is our angel. I love you Brien and will the rest of my life.