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      Giving up is an oprion

     


so many tears ran over my cheeks, and so many regrets came to my mind. I've given everything there is to give to a loved one, and still no response. tired i got of begging the Lord that someday you would be by my side. with nothing else to say and nothing else to do i turned around and walked away. at that point nothing would change my mind. and your feelings were no longer important to me. when i turned, i looked forward to a new begging and i was also ready to forget your soul.

   years past and I've realized that life isn't as you want it to be. i tried my hardest not to think about you and not speak about you. sometimes i would find my self repeating your name over and over again. you might think that forgetting someone is easy, but truly is not. long nights were the ones a spent in my dark, lonely room where your picture gave me joy and at the same time pain. my dreams were no longer picturing you and i together in a beautiful island, instead they were memories of getting rejected by you.

   i kept trying to picture me without you. i kept saying to myself "i need to let it go, i need to stop dreaming and come to reality" but that was no choice for me i was nobody without you, i needed you next to me, you were the air i breathe, you were the water that kept me a life. that's not all you were the boy that i wanted to spent my life with. four years I've try-ed my hardest to leave your name out of my life, i thought that was impossible and that i was never going to forget about. i had many boyfriends during those four years

but none of them reached the love level.

  how stupid was i to talk to you. that day when you asked for my email i gave it to you and i regret it a million times.  i was a step closer to get you out of my life completely. you  have given me long speeches of how sorry you are for not telling me how you felt about me and how scared you were to get rejected. obviously you had the fright and i was living it. I've lived through a lot and there's no way i will go through the same story again. i accept your apologies. and I'm ready to forgive and forget. so i do forgive you, but I'm also  ready to forget you. 

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