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After being in a 5year relationship of beatings, cheating and tears every night I met this wonderful man. Now, I was 16 when I met the first man who was one big lie to the other. And one day I just decided that I don't want to live like this anymore and I took off. One night at the club I saw this cute handsome man dancing with some friends I grew up with and shortly after that I asked them to hook me up with this guy. We went to my friend's house that night and he slept over, nothing happened and I realized just how charming and what a gentleman he was! That next day he moved to another town, about an hour away from where I stayed but he came to visit all the time. I had court cases against my ex ( 5year relationship ) and he stood by me all the time. Not long after that I moved in with him and the relationship was only sunshine and roses, we never never ever had a fight everything was great an going well. I loved this man with all my heart, we did everything together and were always together. I thought this is my future husband one day!


His mother didn't't like the fact that we stayed together but he didn't stood back on me because of her and that was even more nicer to me cause in the previous relationship the mother was every excuse for all the faults in our relationship. We went on holiday with them and spend Christmas with them, I enjoyed every moment of it because I was with him and we've left memories all over the beach and stranded houses... his mother didn't treat me that nice though.


We got back from holiday and I heard a roomer that he was planning my 21st birthday with my parents, I was so exited to share that day with him, but only if he was there...


One morning we woke up , over the weekend, and as I opened my eyes he was staring at me. I do remember this day like yesterday, fresh. I asked him if everything was okay and he replied, "why don't you just leave me before it is to late?" I was shocked, because there was no reason for him to talk like that. As I asked him what was the meaning he couldn't answer me. He took me to my parents for the weekend because he needed time to clear his head. I was going mad as he left, cause I could feel something is not right, what happened, for the whole weekend he switched off his phone and locked himself into the flat, he drank allot and only came to fetch me on Sunday night he didn't't talked much as I was asking allot of questions, but soon realized he's not going to give me any answers. We went to bed that night and I asked him what was going on? He only held me and we made the most incredible love , like never before, I only realized how much more I love this man and he kept telling me over and over that he loves me so much.


the morning of hell, that changed my whole life...


As I woke up he was gone, he took his clothes and took off  with the car,

I felt how my heart was tearing into pieces, I felt how it all came to an end. No letter, no kiss not even a goodbye. I decided that I could not Cary on without him and I took pills, allot of them. I landed in hospital and when I woke up I found myself in my mothers bed. I laid there for almost three weeks just looking at the sealing and going to the bathroom crying on the floor. One day my dad came in and picked me up, he was angry and he told me you are going to see doctor because you are not eating anything at all. I sat there with no purpose, the doctor then told me if I,m not pulling it together he will put me into a mental hospital in the next week because I am busy loosing myself. After long nights of crying and sleeping right through the day I got up one morning and tried to get hold of him, but there was nothing not even his parent's contact numbers was working. I got out that night and started to party wildly!!!! I met up with one of his best friends and he also didn't know a thing about him, we made out that night because I felt that was the only what I could remember him NOW, though the friend who introduced us to one another. Two weeks later I felt pregnant... I was a single mother til my angel son turned one, then I met a amazing man, we got engaged  and planning to get married  next year April.


There is allot of night and lonely days I still think about him, and I've tried to get hold of him before I got pregnant but he just left with no answers. If he only knew what he did to me, today I still think of him and I only, but only want to see him once more in-front of me and ask him, " how could such an Angel , broke a heart that only loved him?" Why did he do it?


Henke, if you maybe see this one day, just let me know why, that is all I want from you...


you left that morning with more than just you clothes


you took everything from me


today I am a happy mommy, but to still have to think he came from wanting you


Yes, God gave me a new Angel, my son


where are you?


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