Hi.. I just searched this site.I am 26 yrs.old.I thought of doing this might help me feel okay..
I am a person who wanted love all through my life.The right & real love for me because i want to have a simple,good,& happy life in the future with my own family.I had 6 relationship that failed & never thought it will failed.Nobody knows their future,right?.When you want the love you are searching for,no matter what happen to the relationship,you will try to work on it,on & on hoping everything will be okay.Well i've made wrong decisions..i didn't know it'll all be a mistakes.Wasn't smart enough to go to the right path of my life.Hurt my self many times.Im regreting everything that made me feel or made my life "nothing" , "worthless"...i wish i could turn back time,delete everything bad happened,& was smart enough to go to the right life path..cause NOW i found the right person for me & this is what's bothering him,my past..i don't understand the way he thinks of my past but im trying to understand it all.He can't accept it he said,no matter how he try.We know we have this strong feelings of love for each other & how good we could make each other happy though we are having some issues to argue with.But now i think he is on the point where he really just wanna break up with me & i think he just did by hanging up the call earlier.Or he is just having a problem on his internet connection so the call dropped (he is back on his country).I don't know exactly what just happened.I tried to call him back on his cellphone but he isn't answering.IM SCARED..im feeling like having a huge stone dropped into my chest & i can't push it out.My chest feels like burning,my neck & my shoulder.Im having problem breathing too.Im trying to calm down & i hope i'll be okay soon.
In all the relationship i had wich was a mistakes,this guy,my fiance made me realized things to make you smart.He thought me things & took care of me with all his love & i felt it.He is the best person i ever had in my life.When i was in the dark & miserable with the life i had in my past,he brought me to life & gave me hope that there is always tomorrow..Things will be alright.He love me unconditionally that i am really proud of.He tried all his best to work on & accept my craps.I saw all his efforts.He took care & love my 3 yrs.old daughter too.But i think he doesn't have a strong foundation to hold on to the love he have for me & just accept my past,love me for who & what i am,think positive,the present & for the future.SO NOW he's on the other side of the world & probably trying to just forget about me..for me this isn't just a relationship,it's a commitment that i feel so meant to stay together & be strong.
When i was around 11 (i think),believe this or not,because i wanted & dreamed of a good happy family,i saw a person that exactly looks like him.We were happy spending time on those dreams.So i knew that is HIM..& this is 1 reason why this is really worrying me & scares me because i don't wanna lose this right person for me.Nobody in this world i would like to be with forever in my life than HIM.
Now im in so much pain & worried but i know im still gonna be here for him no matter what BECAUSE of LOVE..the love i've never felt before..This the story of my life that i won't ever regret until i die.For me,IM HAPPY loving the person I KNOW that is right for me.Eventhough he's having trouble dealing with my past.I AM SO PROUD TO THIS PERSON.He was doing a great job to keep our love alive.I truly understand the thing's that's bothering him about me.So i don't want to just give up & let go of this love.I believe something in this story will make us both happy in the end soon as we get out of the problems we are having right now.I hope he'll be alright & have peace of mind to think everything POSITIVELY.He is a great person that's why i love him this much.I don't judge him the way he thinks infact im amazed how smart the way he figure all things out to be happy.Im trying to understand everything.I hope we will be alright cause love means patience & understanding NO MATTER WHAT story comes up to both person who loves each other truly.