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      I'm not worth the love I so desperately want!

     


I know I may be young, in fact I am only 19, but I feel as though I am alone...


I have always wanted to please people, and I have made people more happy than I have made myself, but it seems as though I can never get back the love I give!


Once I heard a quote that asked the single question, "What is it we spend our entire life loving?"...I thought about it for a while, and while other people probably answered Family, or God, or Church, or their Career, I just kept on thinking in my mind, that I have not spent my life loving anything, rather, I have spent my entire life wanting to be loved... Maybe this is not turning out to be the kind of story this website is known for, but what I want to get across is that some people need to be loved, and although I am one of those people, I have not felt the love that I feel like I need. I have felt God's love, and the love of my family, but I am looking for a love that can only be shared with a soulmate...


I remind myself again that I am only 19, but I feel like I may never find that love, and it scares me more than any fear I have felt in my whole life! I am so insecure with love now. Every time someone likes me, I tell them I am not worth the feelings that they have for me. I am also not as attractive as I could be, and that makes me feel like, people are passing up someone with so much love to share, just because they donít like what they see!


This story may never be read, and it may never touch any ones life, but I want to say that we cannot take love for granted, because some people donít realize how rare it is to find... Because for people like me, love is not something we can just have, I cant just be the kind of girl most guys want, neither do I think I should have to be.


I want what my parents have, or what I see in other couples, but already in my life I feel like I am lost, and that there is no way I can get it! I pray to god at night to allow me to see love when it comes to me, I pray that I can be open to it, and I pray for the men out there, that they can see me as I am inside, instead of out.


I ask that we all ask ourselves the question, "what have we spent our lives loving?"


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