Guess It Was Meant To Be
I feel rather silly wearing my heart on my sleeve, you see I'm not that good with emotions and words. This all took place rather recently. You see at my school we had a "Dance Off" where different teams danced against each other. It was there that I first met the girl of my dreams.
My team came third and as we were packing up to leave I looked up and locked eyes with these beautiful blue colored eyes. She had the most beautiful smile. She said ,"sorry you didn't win, but at least you looked good losing". I didn't think much of it at the time, i guess I should have.
About a week later I got a message on my computer from that same girl asking what i was doing after school the next day. We made plans to get together and hang out. After school I felt like she was to good to be with me so I didn't meet up with her, I walked home feeling so bad.
As soon as I got home I messaged her back saying that I was sorry for not meeting her after school. I didn't make any excuse for my actions, I told her how i felt. About a week went by until I got a reply saying she still really wanted to hang out with me. I swear I began blushing, and I agreed a second time to getting together.
She said to meet her at our school's track field, I agreed and made my way to the school. I went to the store and bought two drinks, one for me and one for her. I sat on the bleachers on the track field wondering what I would say to her.
As the day became dusk I looked out at the field and I saw her coming towards me. I gave a slight wave, she smiled and waved back. I handed her the drink I bought for her. She locked her arm around mine and led me toward the bleachers to sit and talk.
We talked for about an hour talking about our likes and dislikes, we laughed together, it was great. We sat under the stars when this awkward silence settled over us. I looked back at her and as soon as I did she kissed me. It was so quiet, her lip gloss was so sweet, I'll never forget it.
We broke apart and she laid her head on my shoulder, I rested my head upon hers. She said ," This is ok, isn't it?". I didn't answer but she knew it was. We walked back to her house where I waved good bye, she just smiled.
We kept seeing each other for about 4 months. I remember when she told me we couldn't see each other anymore. We were sitting on the same bleachers when she told me she was moving away. It hurt so bad to hear those words. At that moment I knew I had to let her go. We sat holding each other as long as we could.
I walked her home as I always did, this time was different though, this time I felt numb. We reached her door step and I kept wondering what I could do to make her stay. I looked at those beautiful blue eyes and kissed her as I always did. I turned to walk away but shegrabbed my hand saying ,"I want you, please stay".
I turned with tears rolling down my cheeks, she was also crying. I wrapped my arms around her and told her I would be there in the morning to see her off.
I arrived around 10am to see her father and mother loading boxes in their car. They told me she was inside, as I climbed the stairs to their house they both said they were sorry. I couldn't bring myself to look at them. I entered through the front door to find her sitting on the floor of their living room.
I sat next to her tracing my finger upon the ground. She asked me how I felt, Itold I was angry at my self. She asked why, I told her because I couldn't keep her by my side anymore. She leaned over and put her head on my shoulder like she always would. We both got up when her father called for her. They were finally ready to go.
I kept looking at the ground as we walked to her parents car. She opened the car door to get in, she looked at me and lifted my head up. I don't remember if I was crying or not, but the kiss that followed.... it was the best.
I she was wearing that same sweet tasting lip gloss. She told me to smile, I asked her not to go. She began to cry as she got into the car.
As the car pulled away I stood alone in the drive way clinching my fists. My feet began moving, the next thing I knew I was running after her. I saw her looking out the window at me, she kept getting further away. I reached out as I tripped and fell to the ground. I looked up and couldn't see her anymore.
I knew then it was over, I cried so much. I went home, that walk was so unbearable. I was broken, I wanted to see her eyes and smile so much, yet there was nothing I could do.
About a month later I got a message on computer from her. After reading it I must've been laughing hysterically, she was coming back. I told my self this time would be different.... this time I wouldn't let go.
And even to this day I still hold her in my arms... and nothing will ever change that... nothing....