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One weekend i had nothing to do so i decided to log on to a chat room but my real intentions were to find someone i could tell all my secrets to (no it didnt have to be necessarley a boy) all the girls were sluts and the guys were dirty talkers i mean i didnt feel safe since im 13 but i striked a conversation with this guy all we talked about was religion. we talked for almost an hour and a half! but then came along this guy i was going to block because i was so into that religous fight but i said to myself "he sounds like nice guy" so i chatted with him and he was so sweet and nothing like those dirty talkers he was 17 and he said he was too old for me and could not do the cyber space talk with me i kind of admired that he considered my age but i wrote back that who said i want cyber space talk! and he quickly replied that there were some sluts in here that liked that kind of thing, i laughed and we chatted so he mentioned the he wanted to be in the airforce and i told him that i wanted to be a marine bioligist because i was so inerested in undersea creatures. He told me his favorite animals were penguins and i told him mine were dolphins and that i adored them he told me that he was planning to get his egagement rings with dolphins and diamonds on them i told him that his idea was amazing and then soon after he started sharing his story that he had with his ex girlfriend i was really devestated for him and i really did appreciate that he told me his private story i told him mine but mine way so much bigger it was about my life my mom getting divorced and having my brother kidnapped and all the people i loved in my life go away. while i was writing and remembering past events i started to cry remembering all those stuff were like a knife through my heart i felt like i couldnt breathe, but he told me the sweetest things i have ever heard, he said "u were one in a million and its hard to find a caring and thoutful girl like me, i couldnt believe that someone thought of me that way and i couldnt imagine that someone would tell me those things, he told me that if i lived by him he would treat me like a queen and constantly tell me how he loved me, i felt my stomache hurt that i wanted to puke, its the feeling you have when you think about a special someone who you can never be with, i told him that if hes lying & saying these things to comfort me please stop and he told me "if i was liyng would i do this " and he gave me his myspace but it wasnt ok to exchange emails or myspace at that website

for him it came out like this

if i was lying would i do this

for me it came out like this

if i was lying would i do this %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

and i told him: this couldnt happen and what if..???

he said: if what...=)

i felt butterflies in my stomache but i couldnt believe this! to me and all that ive been through its like a fairy tale so at last i gave him my e-mail and signed out quickly because i was so afraid of what i have done but the problem is i think i misspelled it or something!!! my biggest regret was being a cowrd!! now i go everyday to see if he was online.

dear codey

thanks for being as sweet as you are i hope id find you again soon,because i cant stop thinking about you!!!


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