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      Its like i only need him to breathe

     


i met this guy 6 years ago.. i was sixteen and he was 20... he was heartbroken.. from a relationship that meant life to him.... when i first saw him, he was merely someone i could say hello... if someone had told me that i would fall head over heal in love with him i would have laugh... yet, he befriended me... he was my neighbor in fact... my family and i just moved to this new place... he told me everything about his past... how he loved that girl deeply and how he wasted his life... slowly he started to feel something for me... his friends who were also my friends told me so... when he asked me out i just laugh at it and told him that he was crazy... after constantly chasing me for more than six months, i finally say yes... he was very caring at first.. but i was still a child... i took our relationship for granted and always pester him about his ex... then one day he was fed up... he left me telling me that i was right he had not simply forgotten his ex and that we should take a break. of course i was hurt.. my ego was hurt... then months passed by i realized i haven't got over him... i was suffering more than i expected.. i realized i have fallen in love with him... in the mean time, a very cute guy asked me out.. thinking that i would forget my ex, i said yes to him.. we went out for about 8 months.. however. despite having by my side i could not forget my ex... then i decided to end it all and told my current boyfriend that its better we part cause i could not give him the love he deserved...no sooner had we broken, my ex, that is my love , returned back to me... he apologized for all the pain he caused me and beg me to give him a chance... by this time i've grown up... i've suffered lot during our separation.. i know i should simply move on but i love him deeply. therefore back was i with him... at first he was again very caring then after hardly a month he turned to be careless... its like our relationship was just petty for him... he cheated on me several times and always denying it... four years go by with lots of separation and patching up...i simply could not leave him for goods cause i love him more than anything in this world.. but he never changed... its like he took me for granted...indeed, he his ex is well alive in his mind... he casually told me how beautiful she is and how he missed her....he even told me that she is his only love... despite all these, i continue on forgiving his flaws.... i'm so much use to him.. he was my everything.. yet i was almost like nothing to him... then after that 4 years my parents decided to change locality... when i told him so,,, he was disbalanced... i never saw him this way before... he become suddenly so caring... he even confessed to me he didn;t want to lose me... he was in love then... in love for the second time... i spent the most beautiful moments of my life that lasted for some 6 months.. then things went wrong again when he lose his job... he told me he simply could not marry me cause his future is unstable... but i was so crazy bout him that i simply hold on... but things changed drastically.. he started taking me for granted again and even told me he doesn;t love me...However, when i started moving on, he pull me back in his life...and would not let me go.. i just don;t know... i love him deeply.. but he doesn't feel the same way... i just can;t afford to lose him... i need help...

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