Love is blind
I met Mike in a club when I was 18 years old. I was happily single, pretty, and trim. He was gorgeous - he looked like a cross between Trent Reznor and Keane Reeves. We kissed that night. That was the beginning of a turbulent relationship.
I never quite understood the man, which is probably what attracted me to him in the first place. He treated me badly - he cheated on me, he was a jealous person and would accuse me of cheating on him which I never did, he would make me go out of my way for him and then try to make out that he had done me a favour. He was very strange and I wondered if he was actually mad. He kept talking about being in a band he wouldn't let me see live, and a female best friend who I was never allowed to meet. I always thought they were all made up.
On the positive side our sex life was amazing and he was the only person who felt ... challenging. We would debate with one another and wind each other up but in a fun and exciting way.
We broke up after being together for one year. I was devastated. We broke up because we had such a turbulent relationship, because he treated me so badly, and because I had moved 400 miles away to attend university. He started dating someone else almost immediately and rubbed it in my face as much as possible. I didn't eat properly for a while, and became somewhat thin and frail looking.
My friends helped me get my feet back on the ground and I found love again, but never like I had felt with Mike.
I met a lovely guy whilst in my second year of university. We are now engaged to be married, but Mike still hangs like a cloud over our relationship.
I had stopped talking to Mike when we split, but he got back in touch with me. He apologised for the way he treated me and we decided to be friends. He keeps going through bad times in his life. He even admitted that he had made up an imaginary girl in his head to cope, but that he really was in a band. I was partly right about him imagining things. I still have really strong feelings for him which make me question my relationship with my fiance. My partner thinks Mike is trying to get attention from me and I agree. I also think he wants me to be his again.
The reason why I am writing this is because this proves to me that love is blind. It is stupid to even consider leaving a guy who loves you and looks after you, who you love back, and who even wants to marry you, for a loser who doesn't treat you right, however this is what my heart tells me to do.
I am a capable, organised young lady, and I know what's best for me. This is why I am going to stay with my fiance. For those of you out there craving after a person who refuses to treat you correctly, or does not return your feelings of love, use your head and find someone better!