Let me start out by saying that I was married 21 years, have 3 beautiful children, or rather, Young Adults ages, 16, 18, and 20. When their father and I married, I knew it was forever. His whole world revolved around his family and I was the envy of all my family and friends.
After about 10 years of marriage, he began drinking, working longer hours, and soon his world changed from his family to his job and even worse his booze.
For almost 10 more years, I stayed with this man who had controlled me, which I was unaware was happening. I had no say in the finances whatsoever. It got to the point where I couldn't buy anything without him getting angry. He was "the head of the house" and it was his responsibility to keep the finances. So, therefore, I was kept in the dark.
This came back to haunt me once I filed for divorce and found that he had "drank" our savings away. The Kids college funds and even worse... had us so far in debt we had no choice but to file bankruptcy. Through these years, our oldest son went through 5 years of self-mutilation, suicide attempts and was hospitalised 5 times in one year.... the last act of "attempted suicide" took him to a state hospital for 3 months. Where thank God. He was finally helped, He has been totally different for almost 5 years now, a young inspiring writer who has just finished his first screen play, (based on teenage suicide) which is Wonderful. I couldn't put it down when I read it and hope and pray that one day he will get his big break and will have it "on the big screen".
During these years of hell for my son, his father was never there. He used the excuse that our son was just doing this for attention.... Sadly, my son resents his father, and their relationship is very strained. My Kids and I are very close. When I finally got the nerve to file for divorce, not knowing how the hell I was going to support 3 kids, it was MY KIDS that came to me and begged me to leave him.
I knew then, I had to get out.
I filed for divorce. I went through almost 2 years of pure hell, fighting in court. I didn't want anything from him other than him to take care of his kids. He is such a "sad" man; he didn't even want to pay child support. BUT~... the reason for my writing this is...In March of this past year... My old highschool sweetheart, (from 27 years ago) came back into my life :o)
It was in March, on my birthday, that his 10 year old son was tragically hit by a truck driver and killed.
I found out and sent him and his wife a condolence card.... After a week, he called me and told me that he wasn't married, that he had long been divorced from his x and had raised his son alone. We talked for hours it seemed, and he asked if He could someday come and visit me. He would love to get away for awhile. So, on the 3rd of April he came to visit.... Immediately, the old feelings came back and our Love from 27 years ago was rekindled. :o)
We have since spent as much time as possible together. He lives in another State and is getting ready to move here where I live and we are planning our wedding. My kids love him dearly; he is a wonderful man. He told me that he had lost me 27 years ago, and would NOT loose me again.
He strongly feels that his son brought us back together. His baby got his angel wings on my birthday and he has told me numerous times that "us finding each other again, has saved his life". He had given up when his son died. We both find it so "coincidental" that it happened on my birthday and that I took the time to send him a card. I BELIEVE IT WAS MEANT TO BE. The Lord works in mysterious ways.... And I had really decided in my mind that all MEN were pigs... After 21 years of marriage and my heart and soul being "destroyed" by this man who claimed he loved me.... I NEVER thought I would trust again, or even more... Love again.
I wanted to share this with everyone who feels that his or her life is over.... Have faith, There is a reason for "everything" and as fate wants... we are all to be happy. And eventually, WE all find that happiness. NEVER GIVE UP.... BE STRONG... Miracles do happen... just sometimes it takes 20 years of more... but it will happen :o)
Lots of Love, Happiness and Strength!