I was very young, I had many boyfriends, but is was not what they called : love. I felt so great to have a boyfriend at that time. It was just a game.
But then I met this guy, he really made my heart beat.When he wasn't around I missed him. But we were too young. And every time we just started to quarrel, over nothing. He suddenly started dating another girl, me not knowing, but my friends did and told me. I broke up with him, but the love I had for him was for real. As time goes by I live my life, I had other boyfriends but none of them I really liked.It was just another game. I couldn't even forget him, I was just not over him, because something deep down inside is telling me that he is the 1.
We got back together, only this time for real. We were older and wiser, still my love grew stronger each day.
I don't know what it is, but after 5 years of relationship, of which 2years engaged, I'm so unhappy with this kind of life.
Sometimes he's so sweet, but there are times when my life seems like hell.
I don't know how to describe it,
when he gets angry he really can mess things up, sometimes he hits me, and when every things are cooled down he just apologizes for every thing he'd done. there I go again, start crying & ask him why & give him another chance.
What I've learn about him is that he's very jealous, that's why every time I just smile to one of my friends (male) he just make a point of it.
When i talk a little bit frustrated or irritated, he asks me why i talk to him like that & there we go again.
But now the beating is no part of our quarrels, some times a slap.
I have told him so many times to get out of the house, but then I call him back and tell him I just can't live without him, so don't go.
I don't know what all this is.
Is it my fate,
Or is this called true love
Because I gave him all,
my heart and my soul
I would even die for him
Although i'm unhappy and hurt each time,
I still have the strong feeling that he's the one for me.
And I hold on to that and live my life
Not knowing what I do to myself
Everytime I ask myself
Does he really knows how I feel about him
Does he realise how deep my love is
I didn't make any friends since the day we were together
I haven't even look to someone else
I just can't love another one
It's him I see all the time
It's him I think of all the day
And it's him I dream of all night
I can't imagine a life without him by my side
I will not let him go,
Because I know that he can be true too
He makes me laugh and happy
But he also makes me cry and unhappy too
The only thing I know about love is
The love I experience and all the sacrifices I make
Only to give this realtionship a chance in my life
And only I will carry this burden to my grave.
I've always told him this:
It's better to die, than to live my future without you!