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      I Was There First

     


I admit it. I'm the other woman. I'm the one that most people would expect to be disliked and mistrusted. I'm the home wrecker and the source of dismay.  Before you hate me entirely, there is a twist to this story.  I was there first, and I have not physically carried out this affair. It has been an affair of the heart so to speak now for 15 years.  When I was in high school (over 20 years ago), I had a rather intense "relationship" (if you call it that) with a boy my senior year.  My father did not allow me to date, but we did share a few moments off and on together.  He told me that he loved me, and I felt the same.  We never did more than kiss though.  We nearly slept together one night, but he was drunk and we had no protection, so I said no.  After that I did not hear from him or see him again for about 6 years.  He found me on the net and called me up.  He had mentioned that he was married and has 3 kids.  I too am married. (no kids).  He asked if I ever thought about "What if?"  I said yes, but it's too late.  He agreed, but he said he's only remaining married for the kids.  He's been in my mind ever since. I've carried this imaginary affair in my head now for years, but cannot get it out of my mind. Part of me wants to meet up with him, but my marriage is good. Why ruin it?  I'm torn, because I want to believe that if we got together now, I wouldn't be doing anything wrong. After all, I was there first before his current wife. We never really broke up entirely.  I don't want to cause problems or divorces, but I know that will be part of the outcome if we were to meet again and regain our love.

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