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      The girl I had to let go

     


I used to laugh when I came on sites like this and read all the stories about how people couldn't get over failed relationships and such until I had my own bad experience. Now I realise how hard it can be for people and it has made me really look at life in perspective. I'm only 20, typical student out on the town every other night nearing end of 2nd year where you don't really have to revise and just scrape through exams. But in the last few weeks everythings fallen apart, I now face owing alot of money as a result of my flat mate doing a runner and me nd all my flatmates being jointly liable , struggling at uni but worst of all my girlfriend. I met her on the first night of university over 18months we dated for the first 3 months of uni the called it a day but we had just started uni so we thought hey we're young lets go make the most of uni life but only 4 months later we got back together and we've been together almost a year now its been amazing I love her so much but in the last 3 or 4 weeks its been quite rocky, we havent argued as such but with me letting everything get on top of me with uni and debt etc I've been really unhappy and she could tell, so things weren't quite the same between us and she was thinking id had enough of the relationship and I imagine this upset her some what so I thought it was only fair to break up with her because I didnt feel it was fair on her that I couldnt give her the attention and love she deserves I just wanted to her to be happy and see her smile again and I just didnt think I was the one to do this so i tried to split up with her but bottled out and asked if she thought we should take a break but she said no she didnt see any reason too she wanted to carry on because she saw no problem and she insisted she was happy, so next day I would say i was happy but i stupidly and immaturely meant to text my friend saying i tried to split up with my gf the other night but she wasn't having it and i accidentally sent it to her and she was rather upset but i went straight to hers and talked it out and we spent the night together talking about the summer and how we were going to spend it together because im moving home and we spoke about how much we loved each other and i left the next morning she looked the happiest id seen her in ages but that night she phoned me upset asking how i could do such a thing/. Im assuming it hadnt really sunk in what id done until the day after i sent the message when I left, she sounded hurt and dissappointed, i was gutted that I could treat her so badly I cried down the phone to her. Still she wanted to continue and this was only 5 or 6 days agobut she was so dissappointed i just couldnt see any way back until yesterday when after spending two nights with her we finally connected and it was like old times again and then I left her place again she was so happy, but a few hours later and she had found out that i had showed one of my friends the message that had caused all the grief but i only showed my friend the message to show why i had fallen out with my gf i was only asking my friend for advice. My girlfriend sounded angry and fed up more than anything this time, i think this has pushed her over the edge and i just dont see any way back this time, she insists everythings fine, but i dont believe her i think its only fair i end it now to avoid causing us both anymore pain. Im truly sorry for the way Ive treated her in the past and just hope she finds someone who could make her laugh and giggle and be happy like I never could.

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