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      Not Just "Another" Highs School Love Story

     


My life used to be smooth and uncomplicated. I would have been described as the one who had control of her life - what a false statement that is now. I am 17, although much more mature and sensible. This is not just a silly teen love story, this is my life - and how a single girl managed to destroy it in such a short period of time.

 

As far as I can remember, I've always been bisexual. I managed to hide it for all of these years because of the social intolerance I knew would come with admitting it; it became easy to deal with since all I had to do was avoid relationships with girls I had crushes on... how naive of me to believe that. I met "her" in my final year of high school... and no one (including the both of us) could really explain how we clicked so well; In a matter of days we were able to tell each other our deepest secrets that we've never told anyone else before up until the early morning, talking about the most meaningful things every night... we cried together and held each other as we confided and expressed our emotional pains that for a reason we cannot comprehend why we can't do the same with anyone else in the world - we became best friends in a week and a half, and I fell in love for the first time ever. She made me believe in destiny - she wasn't supposed to come to Australia, and she wasn't supposed to go to my high school, but there she was, the most significant person in my life; she was able to change me and my life in two weeks, sending it crashing around my ears. But I needed her like heroin. She, like myself is bi and one night when we got drunk and I slept over, I admitted for the first time to someone that I was bi... but then she told me she already knew. It felt like I was on Ecstasy when I was around her and I thought she knew how I felt because it seemed so right. She played with my foolish heart and left it bare and bleeding on the world's footpath - she was obsessed with a guy she knew. She shredded what spirit and pure love I had in me when she told me she saw me only as her best friend. I was distraught and confused like nothing else because I could have bet my life on the fact that she was falling for me too. Her friend's were confused as well as they saw us bloom and she told me that she herself didn't understand what she felt. That was the biggest fucking bullshit that i had ever heard. I sacrificed so much of me to be there for her and it is going to end this way. I stopped caring about school, broke up with my boyfriend, broke my parent's trust in me and faced the drama of admitting I was bi for her. She is not innocent i can tell you this - she was playing me; holding me, holding my hand, caressing and she even invited me into her fcking bed when she knew how I felt. So there it is, out in the open. It was only just yesterday that she kissed me over and over on my head and hand to comfort me. How can she do this to me? It should have been a perfect love story. Now I can feel everyone's sympathetic eyes fall on me at school, after the room goes silent on my arrival after talking about me and how sorry they feel. I don't understand. Nobody does. Her friends tell her to stop obsessing over her crush and forget about him since he won't commit to her. How I wish I could be him; he has done nothing to win her heart and what and idiot he is not to see the diamond in her.

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