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      STILL missing him


i was moving from new york to Georgia in the summer of '07. It wasn't like a surprise, i had seen it coming so i planned on making that summer the best one of my life before i had to leave. me and this guy had had a thing for each other since the 7th grade. We never had gone out though because when ever we'd get close to it one of us would mess it up. i was determined to have something happen to us that summer. whether it was a fling, or me forgetting about him. we became really close though. we would always text each other and talk. he would text me in the morning just to say "good morning beautiful" and at night he'd say "your the last thing i think about at night and the first in the morning". our first kiss was in the rain at night at a concert. it was sweet and slow and different from any I'd ever had. at that moment i knew i loved him. we went to the fair together and kissed on the Ferris wheel and held hands and i felt so good. my eyes were on him the whole time. my parents loved him and so did my brothers and sisters. not an easy task to achieve i might add. Finally it came time for me to move. at first we always talked on the phone and texted each other. then slowly his calls slowed down until they stopped. i had "introduced" him to some of my new girl friends down here and he talked to them more than he talked to me after awhile. One day one of my girl friends refused to talk to him because she thought he treated me badly. he got mad and we got in a fight. over the next few months we hardly talked and when we did he always brought up having hooked up with some girl. then a few months ago we got in another huge fight about some of my personal problems. he said he wouldn't talk to me again until i figured stuff out and quit doing some things. 3 weeks ago he texted me randomly. we had small talk. Its march....9 months since i first knew i was in love with him and despite it all i still do. When i was moving i knew things couldn't stay the same..... but i had some hope. call me stupid but i can't help but love him. now I'm moving back home and I'm scared to death. i have no idea what to expect to happen between us. if anything at all.


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