The Good Shepherd.
When we met, I was 23 and had been seeing one of your good friends for over a year. I liked you, just thought you were a lovely person and I know you felt the same about me. Nothing would have ever come of it had it not have been for the miscarriage I suffered and associated problems that came with it last year.
Before I even knew I was pregnant, you and I had started to get closer with each other. I had come to rely on you, to really talk to you like I couldn't talk to anyone else. When I had the miscarriage, and things between Shaun and I fell apart so badly, there was only one person who was there for me and who I could talk to - you. We grew closer.
In October, I went through three weeks of hell when Shaun wouldn't even look me in the eye. Only one thing kept me going, knowing that I would see you (nearly every day), knowing that you would be there to comfort me... well you can see where this is heading. Eventually we ended up in bed together and I didn't feel as guilty as I thought I would. I guess I justified it to myself knowing that things between me and Shaun didn't have a chance anymore.
I don't know when it changed between us. I can't recall the day, or the week, or even the month when you stopped being my best friend, supporting me and helping me... and started to become pushy, spoilt, sulky, angry, and constantly demanding. Phoning or texting me 20 times a day to ask why I hadn't been in touch. Assuming the worst, always. Picking fights with me when I had to work late (like that was my fault?)
Now you tell me that you're deleting my number, just because I won't up sticks and leave this country with you. I have a mortgage, a job, a life here. I know we always talked about running away but I was never serious, didn't think you were either. Maybe it's for the best... I'd just never have believed that something so perfect on the surface could go so horribly wrong. And I think I'm a bit relieved that I didn't end things with Shaun as we seem to be doing okay now.
Doubt we will be if the truth about our affair came out, but it's a risk I can take.