Its like dream come true and fall back into pieces.
I found my first love when i turned 18, that was 1 year ago. It was love at first sight for me. We met at our friend's house on Superbowl 2007. After that about one month, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He was my first for everything and I love him so much, he did too. It was spring and part of summer when we were together. Its only last for about 5 months. It was the best time of my life. He was everything i can ask for in a guy. He means so much to me. He was the first guy who brought me white rose for valentine. He was there for me at my graduation ceremony. He was there for me when i have troubles. He was there for me to make me cry, to make me laugh. We both were silly, but I am the one who take everything serious. At that time i was older than him. He was only 16 years old. It was in the 5th month of our relationship when things just gone bad to worse. There was nothing but arguments. When we on the phone and when we were together. We can talk nicely to each other for about 20 mins and somehow arguments just came up by itself. It was like that everyday for a month. We both were so mean to each other. He spent time more with his friends and didn't care about me very much and I was trying to get myself together and trying solve these problems between us. It was August 12,2007 when i found out the bad news. It was 2 days before; we got into the biggest fight ever and between those 2 days he would not answer my phone calls.
So on that day in the morning i decided to go to his house and just talk about things but when i got there he don't want to talk to me i remember the exact words
HIM: I don't want any problems here, I'll call u later just go home
Me: what do you mean problems, i just wanna talk to you
HIM: NO, JUST GO HOME
At that point i can already tell by looking at his eyes and i know something was up. I tried to run to his room but he grab me so hard and would not let me go. He pushed me out of the front door but i use my last strength pushed him back and ran to his room and i was shocked from what i saw.
It was a girl sitting on his bed.
I was speechless, weak, and cried my heart out.
She was one of his friend from school and she have been trying to hit on him many times, so i found out after we broke up. The girl knows he already has a girlfriend at that time but she wants him so bad. I'm not blaming anyone but it was his fault that he falls for her. This was what he said on that day.
HIM: We're done, its over
ME: What do you mean?
HIM: i don't love you anymore, my love for you just gone. get outta here
Him and I just keep fighting about it about 1 hour then i finally come to my senses, so i left and come home. His mom and i get along really well i went to talked to her on that same day of what happen. He already left for work that is why i went back to his house. I was going crazy out of my mind and love him so much still. I went back into his room and clean his room for him and laundry. I feel so stupid at that point i just don't know how to handle that situation. It was really hard to forget about what happen. I have no contact between him and his family for about 2 months. I went out to dinner with his sister one night. she's my age. I admit i was still in love with him and want him back.
Another 2 months passed by, i was shocked to see him call me.
This is how the conversation on the phone went
Him: Did you call my girlfriend?
Me: No i didn't why should i call your girlfriend. i don't want to talk to her. i don't even know her phone number.
Him: Are you sure because whoever calls her and was saying really mean stuff to her.
Me; why would i lie like i said i don't know her phone number
Him: You know what you just bullshit
Right after, i cried so hard. i was out of my mind once again. i just wanna be dead all over again. I have sheded my tears and my wrist for him why is he so mean to me?
all kinds of stuff went through my head.. I have had enough with this drama shit
Then it was really long while that me and him have no contact with each other in anyway.
All those time though. i know that my heart belong to him even though it was torn into pieces. I go on with my life but my heart still have him. No matter how long i still love him. I didn't open my heart for anyone else. I did like someone else but i didn't care if they will like me back because no matter what i still got one guy in my heart already. I couldn't possibly love anyone else except him.
Until it was Superbowl 2008, it was exact 1 year since we knew each other. its amazing how time passed by so fast. I missed him more than ever. I missed everything we use to do and cherish with each other. later, it was Valentine's day, i really wanted to send him a text. So i did. he has no idea it was me because i changed my number he keeps calling and text to find out who sent him,but i didn't response to his action at all even though i really want to talk to him. i thought that i was really strong at that point.
I live somewhere in Missouri and it was March 4, 2008, we got alot of snow all school was closed. I didn't have to go to work neither. I never seen this much snow here before. i was worried about him so i sent him text once again saying to be becareful with all these snow. I did expect him to call me back like he did before and he did it was late at night already. We talk for 2 hours. I found that he is single. I tell him everything that i could and ask him every questions that i possibly can think of. i told him that i really wanted to meet him later on that week, but when we talked somehow it turn out that he wanted to come and see me that night and like i said it was real late. He comes to my place because i live on my own and yes he did spent a night. It is like my dream have come true. I've been waiting for 8 months for this night. Seeing him one more time was awesome. i was so happy. The whole night i was worry about what gonna happen to us. im so scare he will left me alone. He only comes and see me just because he wanted time to passed by.But he told me just too wait don't be attached. When morning comes after that day he never calls me and he didn't answer my call.
I am still waiting for you. i can wait a little longer baby. There is nothing wrong with that.
I LOVE YOU