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      The Story of My Heart


I will always love him.However hard i try i cannot forget.It's a memory of pain, grief, love and joy all wrapped into one. And it will remain in me forever and ever. I will now tell you my story, the story of my heart. Because of the circumstances surrounding the story i must keep some details secret -names and places etc Anyway,i shall now begin to tell the story as accurately as i can, to tell a story correctly you must start from the beginning. So I'll start from the very beginning. It all started when i was just 6 years old.He was seven.We met at my Dad's birthday party.My Dad is friend's with his Dad. At the party we played with the other children in the children's corner. I cannot remember a lot about that night all i can remember is the fact that he followed me about the whole night. The next time that i remember seeing him is at our Dad's work.I may have seen him before but i cannot remember.I was eight. I started going to my Dad's work every Saturday.What i didn't know was that he also came every Saturday.The other kid's played snooker on the top floor of the building, so did i and so did he.He was nine then so he looked different so i didn't remember him from the night at the party.  Anyway, we started playing snooker together and we talked together and did fun things together - child like things, playing pranks,games,music things like that. After spending all that time with him i fancied him-A LOT - he was my first crush. And then one day when i was 10 and he was 11 it was Valentine's day.He say to me that he loved me and i said to him that i loved him.And later that day we became boyfriend and girlfriend. And even later that day we had our first kiss. I loved him with all my heart. After that he came round to my house and i went round to his every week. Loved him still and he loved me. Then he started high school when i was in primary school. He was in year 7 and i was in year 5.He was 11 and i was 10.We still continued to love each other.We still made time for each other. But when i got in year 7 and he was in year 9.He was around different people and he matured faster than i did.We had more arguments we broke up and made up.We did this at least one a month.When i was 13 and in year 8 he was 14 and in year 10.We were still boyfriend and girlfriend and we still loved each other.However our relationship became more physical - we kissed a lot for a long time. We acted like adults-we kissed with tongues like strawberries and cream.He had touched me in places that no one person had touched before and i did the same with him. However he wanted to go to far. We had arguments over this.And we broke up for a month.But then we got back together again. However i was unaware that he had changed in that short space of time. He had other girlfriend's- a lot of other girls. One day something very very very bad happened.Something that destroyed my heart forever. But before i tell you this i must give you some other information, on 14th Feb our 3rd anniversary.We got married. Fake. He gave me a ring and i gave him a ring. And we loved each other forever and ever. But one day months and months after us marrying he told me something.He had made one of his girlfriends pregnant. I didn't know until this point that he had other girlfriends.I gave him my heart and he threw it on the floor and tore it up. He broke my heart. But i still loved him. I hated that.I was angry.I was upset.  I was embarrassed. I had so many emotions. I had a breakdown.I threw things.I cried. I said bad things and did bad things. I was so upset. He broke my heart. I loved him and he didn't love me. These emotions went on for about two months. But then i realised that i was ruining my life because of him. So i tried living my life normally but then things started to happen bad things. One day his girlfriend-the pregnant one came round to discuss the baby. And i was told that i was to be the baby's godmother. Firstly i was surprised that she wasn't going to abort the baby. But then i thought that if she did then she wouldn't have anything to torment me about.She was carrying his baby that is huge and all i had was my love for him. That was all i could think about while they talked about their plans for their child. Then to my surprise he asked the pregnant girl to meet him in town later because he needed to talk to me in private. I was shocked but i had this tiny bit of hope.I hoped that he would say i love you and please love me back then there would be lots of hugging and crying. That tiniest bit of hoped worked but not in the way that i hoped it would. All he said was in a very quiet voice was "I'll always love you" then he left. There wasn't hugging and crying.We weren't back together.But at least he loved me still. This may sound desperate but that is how i think in my deep thoughts. I will always love him-even if i don't want to.Months and months passed the baby was born.It was a little boy.He was very very cute.He looked just like his daddy.Over the months i kept in touch with my godchild and his father. I learnt to get on with my life but not a day went by that i didn't think about him. About two years after the birth of my god child his mother ran away her new boyfriend.So he was left in charge of the baby. He was only 17. I was 16. I  visited my godchild with his father and baby sited sometimes. I cannot give exact details but on 14th Feb that year he commented suicide. And that is the day that my life fell apart and i fell apart i shall never ever be the same i cannot express the feelings that i went though then but it was much worse then death.I'm now 25 years old it has been 8 years since the death of my husband the only man that i will ever love .Before i finish the story i must tell you that i was the one that discovered my Love's dead body. Now i am planning to look after my lover's child, my god child I've finished university so i have a stable job. The only problem with this is that every time i look at my godchild i remember this love story the story of my heart.


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