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      I fell in love in 8th grade..


when i was in 8th grade i fell for this boy the very first time i saw him. i would try and walk past his table at lunch hoping to get him to notice me and after 2weeks i decided to give up. Then all of a sudden 2-3 months later he started walking past my table at lunch and we talked a little. One day while i was on my way to chorus class he stopped me and asked for my number and of course I gave it to me. That night I waited for him to call but he didn't. The next day at lunch he didn't come walk past and I felt a little played. That night I was on the phone with my friends and he called. We talked for about an hour and though they're were lots of awkward pauses I loved the conversation. After that night we began talking regularly at school and sometimes on the phone. Then all of a sudden we stopped talking. I missed him greatly, but I just acted like it didn't bother me. Probably after like 3months later we began talking a little but it wasn't like how we were before. By this time it was the end of school and for the summer i promised myself I would forget about him and I guess you could say I kinda did. When school resumed we didn't talk for maybe one week and then he came to my locker and we talked again. I knew that I would not be able to get over him again but I didn't care. My gut kept telling me that he would end up breaking my heart but I didn't listen, I was just excited that we were talking! Over these next couples of months he would give me signals that he liked me and I would respond to them. One night he even asked me if I liked him and I told him maybe, I guess that's where everything went wrong. He stopped talking to me and ignored me in the halls. It was like everything that happened never happened. I tried to forget about him, but I couldn't. I cried myself to sleep just about every night. Soon you could say that I slowly drifted away from those feelings though I knew they were still there. In April he began talking to me but we weren't as close, once again. Soon we began talking like our old selves again. One day I came to school and noticed he wasn't there. A week went past and I didn't even get a phone call. 3weeks after, I was in the locker room getting changed when I a couple of girls came up to me telling me that Antoine left our school because he wasn't getting along with his mom and she caught him smoking weed. I was stunned. The boy that I loved since 8th grade was not the boy they were telling me about. I wish I had listened to my friends when they told me not to talk to him anymore. They had warned me and I had not listened. I wish that maybe I had. The school that he attends now is where one of my friends go and she knows him. She says he asks of me a lot and asks her to tell me sorry. I want to talk to him so bad but I know that it's going to end up like 8th and 9th grade. I am a junior in college and I still think about him a lot. I have seen him a couple of times ever since 9th grade but I can't talk to him. I love this boy and it's killing me.


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