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      Heart would go on...


I tried very phone number to reach Micael in despair. Finally I phoned one of his friend's(Jake) office.Luckily he was around,but his friend said he would not come to the phone. I asked him to tell Micael to come over,I was relieved when he said Micael would come within a few minutes.

Standing in the balcony,thinking about Micael's strange behaviour I felt impatient as hours flew by.After almost three hours and no trace of Micael,i decided to call his friend.

When I phoned,Jake said he would not come.And said Micael wanted me to know he is ashamed to come....... I asked why.Jake asked me whether I trust Micael.I said i trust him with all my heart.What came next from Jake haunts me till this day "Zenith,Micael has been cheating on you.I have his porn photos taken with a girl who lived in the same block of flats as him".I said it couldn't be true.He promised to show me the photos but he couldn't since Micael didn't want me to see them.

Beyond doubt,I was devastated.I ditched him right then without thinking.So much for sacrificing my one true love so that this ungrateful person won't be harmed.

Days were hard,I barely got out of the house so the less I saw Sid and I would always see Micael roaming near my house with his new girlfriend;Beth.

I was in a big misunderstanding until years later Micael's girl friend Beth phoned me, she said she got involved with Micael after a few months of me becoming his girl friend.He two timed me and i was unaware.But how could Beth be so evil? And,she said that she has done the best to keep Micael for herself but she has failed.When she fell head over heels in love with him,he took advantage of her.They were apart,Micael is after some other girl.

Not only that,Beth said Micael had been using drugs throughout the relationship with both of us.He never said that to me but he confided it with Beth.

My anger boiled and I felt so frustrated and used.But i was happy to escape from him before it was too late like it was for Beth.She no longer was innocent.....

Anyhow,oneday Sid came to me and said'He has dumped you'.I said i ditched him.But when he asked me why I had no answers.What do I tell him? After what had happened i can't ask him to forgive me.Even if I said my true story he wouldn't belive.He thinks me as a liar.So I was left in pain.We loved each other but we didn't have a way to have each other.So much has gone wrong.I love him,he loves me but we are strangers.We could never have each other.

I moved from one relation to another to find comfort,to love and to be loved.I dated almost five guys within that period.I call off the relation every time I meet Sid and I couldnt help been with another person.It was better that way I never felt anything for the guys i dated.Though all the guys i dated treated me with love and great care,i didn't have the heart to love them or least treat them good.I could think of nothing apart from Sid.I wasn't the perfet girlfriend.I no longer had the heart to love.It was all gone with Sid.

I was almost 18 when I completely lost Sid.Without a trace he disappeared into thin air.Without even telling me he was gone.

My immediate family and I moved to a big apartment.I was doing my 'A' levels.The area we moved were bulging with good looking boys and vice-versa.

Almost one year without seeing Sid,I was walking home after school,I heard quick footsteps behind me.but I never turned back.I turned around when Sid called out my name,I froze.His face was mere inches away from mine.Again we started to meet,but Sid never asked me to be his girlfriend.I felt hurt and kept my distance.Again a week later no news of him.

Every day i missed him,but i knew he was making me pay for my mistakes.I took it hard.Months passed and I thought Sid had forgotten me.But no,one night as i was getting ready for bed my sister said i had a caller on line.It was no one other than him so he thinks of me huh? I was happy he had not forgotton me.He would call me from time to time.We would meet.He never wanted a serious thing.He was just using me to time pass? I was very hurt.He was crossing limits.Whenever i asked him what he wants from me he would say nothing.We lost contact for good.

As I said I was 18 when my immediate family moved to this big apartment.I noticed a very chubby guy,cute but not my type.I didn't know he was interested in me since there were several pretty girls in my area.Am not saying am ugly.But why just me?

This guy i later came to know as Andy asked me for my name? I told him since he was very polite.He started sending me text messages,love messages.He kept oon sending how he thinks am special,he wants me happy,he would make me happy till his last breathe.Very phony but rubbish.There is no such thing as love.

Andy kept trying for me,I kept on ignoring him.But finally I gave up,what's there to loose and get hurt?

In the beginning things were bad.But i wanted it to work this time unlike with other 7 unfortunate guys i dated before Andy.I was patient,i wanted it to work though Andy was a bit careless.Later I knew from him that he had never had a real girlfriend,so he was very shy to be intimate with me.There were times in which i was outraged,but i didn't blow it.

Finally,things clicked to write place.Andy became more mature and responsible.He is an angle.I can't ask god for a better person after what I have been through.

Now I am 20years,we would be celebrating our second anniversary on 9th February 2008.We are very excited.

In the time I have been with Andy I have not seen Sid. A week to our big 'A' day,I was in the balcony.I got the sensation of being watched.In the passenger seat of a silver car was Sid.He was staring at me,his sunglass in his hand.The driver drove away and Sid stared at me till he could no longer see me.Ugggggh again I felt 17,it wont stop disturbing me but he cannot interfere with my life again.I would not let that to happen.

It was 2nd February if i am not mistaken.After Sid bought me a new silver ring with little diamond like things we went for a drive.He drove his brother's motorcycle.I knew how to drive a little.So almost two hours I asked him to head to the place where people could take driving lessons on there own.I wanted to drive but without lisence street driving is prohibited.

The place was quite empty except for a few learning drivers.Andy sat behind,guiding me.As I drove I noticed Sid.He was sitting in his parked very expensive motorcylce,and draped all over him was a girl.The girl didnt see me or knew that Sid was watching me.I felt uneasy to see him with another girl.But I let the feeling sink.I drove as Sid watched me.After almost half an hour he left,did it bother him to see me happy?

But Andy is the one for me.I won't dissapoint him at any cost.Andy is an angel.He makes sure i have all the comfort and hapiness in the world,it is worth everything.He loves me,I repect his patience and loving nature.


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