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      I am not obsessed, I am in love


I am 16 years old. Over the summer I worked at this camp as a councilor. I thought it was going to be pretty bad and I'd be stuck with no one I knew but it turns out I was with 2 of my good friends and this guy that my friend was obsessed with for about 5 years.

Nothing ever happened with them though. As the weeks went by I got to know this guy very well. I really started to like him. All my friends were helping me out. My best friend would help me with things to say to him and my friend from camp told him how I felt [without me knowing of course] He said he was interested but wanted to know me a little better.

My best friend set up this thing for me, her, him and his best friend to hang out. He finally asked me out then and he was kind of nervous and I thought it was so cute. So we were going out for about 3 1/2 months. It was great. We really loved each other. We did just about everything together. It made my friends sick looking at our relationship. There was even a point at the end of our relationship that we were thinking about sex. It never happened though. I guess that's kind of good considering the outcome we had.

He broke up with me out of the blue. I never saw it coming. He said he lost interest in me. I tried so hard just to be his friend but it was hard considering I really loved him. We've been broken up for almost 2 months now. We're friends...I guess you could say. We don't really hang out though and that really bothers me considering we always agreed we'd be good friends. Now this wasn't the first time he broke up with me. It was the second. We broke up and went back out not even 24 hours later. So it was the second time he broke up with me. I don't understand why I could love someone that does this to me. I really am in love with him though.

I just want to tell him so bad but I know it wont do anything. In fact it might make things worse. I've tried going out with other guys but I just cant. He's the one I love. I don't know how to get over him and no one seems to know either. All I do is sit and cry over him. I just feel like it was something I did that made him break up with me. I wish I could turn back time and figure out a way to stop this from happening but I cant. All my friends say he's a dick so I cant even talk to them about it. They get sick of me "obsessing over him" as they put it. I'm not obsessed. I'm in love...and I don't think he'll ever love me that way again.

It just breaks my heart knowing he'll never love me again. Sometimes I think dying will save me from this but it really wont. One day I'm going to tell him how I feel and hopefully he thinks about it and decides to love me back.


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