Im Carize, and i have a boyfriend named John. He's a great guy i can say. He doesn't have vices at all and im smoking. He doesn't drink but i do. He has a weak personality and i have a strong one. He goes to church with his family every Sunday, and i don't cause i'm too busy. He was raised as a good kid and he lived a very great life, while i grew up on a broken home with a family that even i couldn't understand.
He's a conservative guy and certainly am not. He goes to watch basketball but he doesn't play any outdoor games cause he's asmthathic. He doesn't go out when he has a free time, he prefers to stay home but i am certainly an out door person. He's a silent type and i am the talkative one. He's romantic and sweet.
I even wonder why he chose me when he can pick another girl who's his kind? But despite our differences in life and our traits too, I love him but i just can't change the person who i am just to prove him that my love is true. I can't be like him, but that was never an issue. Most of the time, i really try my best to fit in in his world, but i really don't succeed. I don't know what keeps me holding on, maybe cause im afraid of letting him go. I stood up in our relationship. Im the one who says sorry even if its he's fault. Im the one who makes ways to be with him. Im the one who does the efforts, but im not using it a bargain. Everything i've done was my decision.
I met his parents and they knew my background, my past and my life. They didn't want me. They want John to stay away from me. That fact hurted me, i cried a lot of times cause of that. But John didn't want to do what his parents told him. I was willing to fight for him even if im looking like a desperate person. I fought for him to the best i could. But i didn't see any actions from him. He never really did something. And sometimes i think of letting go but my feelngs run up and i feel so bad about how much i love him.
but how can we ever win this battle when im the only one who's fighting ?
I don't want to give up 3 years just like that but if its gonna make him at ease then i think i'd do it.