Boys are utterly confusing..
||why must boys be so confusing? that is all i want to know. my best friend started going out with her new boyfriend and always talked about him. he sounded cool so i added him as a friend on myspace. we instantly connected and continued to talk even when him and my friend broke up. five months after talking to him i realized i had feelings for him. when i told him he seemed to not even pay attention. we went for two months without even talking and it was hell everyday. finally we talked about everything and we ended up meeting. it was definitely awkward. why wouldn't it be? we had been telling each other everything for the past eight months and finally were meeting in person. then a couple weeks later we saw each other again. we talked more and it got less awkward. then we saw each other one more time before i went to his football game. that was the most awkward encounter of all. we continued to talk and we really were good friends. even though he never said anything i kinda thought he might like me. we were talking one night and he told me that even though we have only seen each other a few times you are one of my best friends and i will miss you if you ever leave. then he told me that he liked me and wanted to go out with me but it would be hard cause we never see each other. cute huh? well four days later he got a girlfriend. i was terribly confused but i never gave up on him. even while he was going out with her he always talked to me in a way that none of my other guy friends talked to me. it was different but a good kind of different. when they broke up i finally thought that maybe we could have a chance together until he told me he got a new girlfriend the same day him and his old girlfriend broke up.i was devastated. i wanted to give up on him and never talk to him again. but of course my heart wouldn't let me. when we would talk i would always tell myself that we were just friends and always would be, so i better just get used to it. one night we were me and my friends were planning on going to this dance. he of course was going to be there. that night while we talking he asked if he could have a ride to the dance. i had to say yes no matter how much i wanted to yell at him.we got to the dance and went our separate ways. as i stood there watching him and his girlfriend make out i realized that i would never be able to get over him and i wanted him all to my own. by the end of the night we were talking and he asked me for a ride home. on the way we were laughing and having a good time. that night i was so happy. i knew that even though he had a girlfriend we still had that special connection. as i sit here and write this i feel horrible. i feel like a complete failure not knowing what to do with myself and what to do with life. all i have ever wanted was to be happy. and everyday i think about him and that if i had him i would be happy.|