I'm wishing but I'm not hoping
I love this guy who doesn't love me? (I'm not sure bout this!). Thatís what he made me feel. He never respects my feelings. When he did not go home, he never calls nor send text message to inform me. He made promises that always broken. I'm always waiting for him and I want to feel that he love me too,... again!
Before, we are happy. We both feel like heaven sent us for each other. We get married and blessed with one daughter. Being a mom, I focus my attention to my daughter never notice that my starting to neglect my husband. Because of this, he always goes home late and always spent his spare time with friends and goes home drunk. Till the day comes that he found a new love and comfort with the other girl, this woman completes him. I tried to talk to him but we always went into argument. I asked him to choose between me and that woman, but he keeps on denying that girl and keeps on telling me that whatever happens he will never leave me (maybe because of our daughter.)
Now, he only goes home on special occasions. Never call nor text to ask if we're okay! I know and I feel that he love this girl because there were times he calls me by the name of that girl. I tried to be strong every time it happens. I am tired of arguments.
A friend advice me to act like a mistress every time I find time with my husband and I did. Being sweet, lovely and caring just to win him back but nothing happens. I did everything but he never notice.
Now, I realized, I have nothing to do but to accept the fact that his love for me is gone. The last time we talked, I told him that I am very proud of him coz he already get what he wants and I am happy coz I know he already found the complete happiness he wants, and I know that he is already happy with the life he choose to live. (But on the back of my mind, Iím crying and wishing for the day to come that he will be back to say SORRY that he already realize that I am the only love he have and he can't live without me.) I'm wishing but I'm not hoping....