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      I lost what I never had

     



I started my new high school when I was 15. I loved the kids there. They were all so nice, but one guy was pretty special to me. His name was Luke.


Luke and I became friends. We weren't best friends, but I thought we had something. At lunch and break times I'd try and stay close to him. What I believed to be him flirting turned out to just be his way of being friendly.


I started falling in love with Luke. I never told anyone, as when I tell people who I like, it somehow seems to jinx it. I thought there was something between me and Luke, that just maybe he might love me too. I looked over at him in the hall and he looked right back into my eyes. I thought "Maybe this is it, he's realized he loves me!". Then my friend, Kate came up to me and said "Guess what! Luke's going out with Jennie!" My heart sank. Jennie was nice and beautiful to boot. I couldn't be jealous of her because she and I were friendly. Plus she was so nice. She apparently didn't want anyone to know.


I stayed in the bathroom crying. I skipped a lot of class that day. I faked smiles at people, but my heart was shattered. My hopes had been built up so much over Luke. I thought we had something, that he was mine. Now all I see when I look in the mirror is a girl, not especially pretty, but not ugly, one who doesn't get what she wants. I feel let down and inadequate. It wasn't Luke or Jennie's fault. It was mine. Why did I like someone that I couldn't have?


I lost what I never had.

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