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      What's a relationship to one person?


This is a small and very lame story. But, regardless of the intensity of the issue at hand, I need to write it down so that it can be released from my head. I'm 17 years old, without much experience in anything.


So I'm going out with the most amazing girl. The girl who is sought after by every guy who glances. And the most precious person to me. The fact is that she has had a very troubled past which I won't talk about on the internet. And as a result there are medical conditions, emotional conditions and drinking habits which aren't conducive to a successful relationship. I drink myself, often. The difference is when I get drunk, I'm always sober enough not to take numbers from girls who try flirt with me, whether or not my girlfriend is with me. 


I only ever loved 2 girls. She was the second. I'm completely taken under by her. The feeling of love is so powerful, that I can't drop this relationship. Do you know that feeling? Hmm, It's a very physical feeling similar to the uneasy feeling I get when over a sudden dip, where your stomache kind of twirls. As if your insides are being tickled. Well She gives me that feeling. The point is, my first love gave me that feeling when i thought of her. The recovery after that relationship lasted right up until I met this girl. I'm scared that I'm going to lose the ability to love like this. Where the love is physical too.


Another fact is that right up until 5 days ago, our bond was so strong. Then there was a sudden feel of awkwardness. That awkwardness wasn't deliberate on my side. (I tried so hard to revive it) But it's as if she's totally lost interest. It's ............... You know what this is lame... I'm going to post this...... But I think you'll have to just guess the rest of the story. I'm really scared.  hate this.


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