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      I need help

     


Hi. I'm 15 years old, and I began to like this girl on June 11 2006. i told her that i liked her, and she was very understanding.

about a week later, she liked me back. and we went out for a while. we quickly fell in love. she meant the world to me and i meant the world to her. even though our parents didn't get along, we kept it going because we had tried to separate, but we couldnt. we both kept on coming back.



i pledged to love her forever, and she did the same for me. we planned to get married, and we were even talking about our childrens names and how many we should have.



we were so in love. i sneaked out just to give her a hug. maybe 4 times.

we broke up often, because we didnt want to upset our parents, but we both couldnt stand being away from each other.



she had a friend in sydney. i never met him, but apparantly he's really attractive. and he was also in love with her. he came to visit and they spent a lot of time together. when he came to visit her, she wouldnt admit that she loved me. she just wouldnt say that she loves me. i got really upset and came to the conclusion that she had fallen in love with him. so i said to him, thats it, you can have her.



I cried so so much, for so so long.



but i realised that i couldnt do anything without her. im a top student, one of the best in the state. but when she dumped me, i was getting D+. i needed her, so i went back, and told her that i was sorry and explained the situation. she was really upset about it, and she said that i hurt her badly. but she took me back.



a few weeks later, i noticed that she wouldnt talk to me much. she wasnt as affectionate, and i couldnt feel any love inside her anymore. i asked what was wrong, and at first she didnt want to tell me, but eventually, on August 25 2007, she told me that she didnt love me any more. and she said it rudely. i was absolutely shattered. her dad is our doctor. so he heard about it when i was in hospital.



i went into a 1 and a half hour state of unconsciousness, and it got so bad, that my heart wouldnt pump. it simply wouldnt pump, and my blood pressure dropped to 60.



i wish i had died. its now 98 days later. just 2 days ago, she left on holidays overseas. she wont be back for 70 more days. i cant take the pain. i have cried literally everynight since august 25. and i have come so close to suicide a lot more than once. i can stay up til 2 or 3am crying myself to sleep, because i miss her so much. i miss her so much that i once had a seizure from it, and the doctor thought i was on drugs. there are numerous medical experts trying to figure out whats wrong with me, but none of them take into account love, and no way wud i tell them.



i drew her a picture once. im not good at art at all. but it was magnificent. she has the only copy. i love her so much.



this is not all the story, but its 2.10am right now, so im going to sleep.

goodnight everyone,

xox

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