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      Missing out on love.

     


I'm the type of girl who just can't overcome her fear of love. Do you ever get like that? I can't seem to fight for what I want. It's like I'm stuck in this fantasy world where my prince charming will one day come for me. But I'm missing out that way. There are so many guys who hold my heart and who make me feel but I can't find the courage and confidence in myself to test it out and see if its real---if I could find that everlasting happiness that many seem to find so easily. I'm always jealous and envious, but why? How could I possibly be when it's myself that holds me back and prevents me from finding that solace in anothers' arms. I yearn for that bond where we can just sit for hours talking about nonsensical nothings or just gazing at each others' eyes in silence and just enjoying the moments we spend with each other. When he holds you unexpectedly and you ask why and he just smiles and says because I just want to be close to you....to feel your heartbeat next to mine. Aren't I an impossible romantic. I want that feeling....to be loved and to love wholeheartedly without reservation. My insecurities hold me back...will I ever overcome them and find that special guy with a smile that melts my heart?!

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