True Love But Never A Right Love (love that is never gone)
It's in swimming class where I met a guy named Ayi. I just ignore him at first, whenever he says a thing I just smile, a sign of no comment. But when I got to talked to him for the first time, I feel really different, it's as if we're close. Maybe because we came from the same school in secondary level. I don't know but I feel too comfortable with him and for the first time, a guy walked me to the terminal. He got my number and he texted me to take care and he do have a good time with me. For us it's the most unforgettable time that we had.
From then we start communicating and the day will not end without sending messages to each other. I feel like someone’s watching over me and comforts me. I began to wonder why he care that much. And he told me that he likes me. I just take it as a joke but I know I'm just trying to avoid my own feelings, that I feel the same way for him. For the first time I fell in love deeply.
There's no courtship that happened but still the feeling that he's always there with me became enough. He still walked me to the terminal every swimming class and one night we’re caught by our classmates together, and everybody began to think that we're on a serious relationship but there is none. They always tease me about it so I started to avoid him; in "front" of people still I know he's there to support me in everything. We're still communicating. I once see him holding a baby, and he looks good as a father and for the first time I dreamed of a family, and it is with him that I want to be with forever.
The last night for swimming class came, I never even got to talk to him, to say goodbye and to say what I truly feel for him. I just learned the next day that he's searching for me that night for a talk but I'm on my way home that time. I send a message that says for what I truly feel for him. He says that I got to prove it by going to the place we first met. But that day, I go to the hospital and discover that I'm really "sick" and need to be treated by a doctor. I just receive my injection, I'm a little dizzy, and advice that I should rest for awhile but I refuse to, I still go to that place, all I have in mind is that I need to prove what I feel for him. He doesn’t know anything about my "real" condition. After that, I start to visit him in his work. Still I don't have relationship with him. We sometimes argue about my moody attitude, so I decide to change for him, it's hard but he says that he always understand me and accepts me for who I am. But because I love him, I changed a lot. He even inspired me and it is from him that I got my strength to continue the medication. The last time that I visited him, he told me that he's gradually falling for me and for the first time I got my first kiss. I thought he's my boyfriend already.
Everything goes out just fine but one night he texted me that he has a serious problem. I asked what it is but he never say. I just think that it's not that big or what. The next day, he texted me again and from then he says that "I will have a child soon" I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I just uttered that congrats and be a good father to your child. Though it hurts that is what meant to be said. And every night, I used to cry over it. He returns my messages, I never thought he kept it for couple of months, one of it is the lyrics of right here waiting. Then tears slowly fell from my eyes.
The following days, one of my classmates said that there's something they had discovered about Ayi, that he have a girlfriend and is already five months pregnant. I cried, and before I knew it, he had told it to others, that serious problem that he's talking about. Some of the people have a pity look in their faces whenever they see me. From then I realize that he didn't became my boyfriend at all, it's just a secret love... I start to write poems and most of it was dedicated to Ayi. The pain didn't gone that fast; I even questioned God why it happened to me, why he needs to take Ayi away from me. I began to text him bad words and I use different name, but he soon discover that it was really me. He said that he's too disappointed with me, he's wrong to think that I'm too intelligent and he always look up on me but it's wasted because of my attitude. But it's only because I'm too hurt. I'm sorry. It takes a year before I get over him and I start to entertain suitors. He knew it and says that I should not say it to him. I asked why. He says that "I loved you and you're still special for me". Again he texted and bring up the past, asked if I really loved him and I said "yes, I love you", then he replied that I already proved that and says that, " I really love but we're not really meant to be, but it's ok because I know you're always with me. The last time that I saw him is when he's with his own family, he didn't see me, but as I turn my back I just smiled and just think that I should be happy for him. After that, I began to have a relationship, but I know that for every person I love, none of them can replace him in my heart, mind and soul. For the last time I want to say... I love you...
"I really love you but we're not really meant to be, but it's ok because I know you're always with me." -email@example.com.