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      Somewhere Down the Road

     


bsp;†This story started from my last duty. I was a nursing student back then and the day before it, I have decided that I will shift to the course that I really wanted to take up. The day for that last duty came. From there I had known my patientís cousin Ryan and his friend Emeem. They both got my number and we began communicating. It is to Ryan that I trusted my problems and to whom I let to see my weakness; I feel ease and comfort when I talk to him as if everything does be fine. As days passed, I realized that I already like him. But one night, he told me that he liked somebody else and I might know her. Without asking who that girl was I turned away and I stopped communicating with him because of the fear that I will only got hurt in the end.†I got close to Emmem and later on we had our relationship. While Iím dating with him, I have learned that Ryan had his girlfriend and it was Emeemís friend, it somewhat hurt me, still I donít know the reason. Both of our relationship didnít work out. After my break up with my boyfriend I really cried a lot and drown myself drinking, I had no one to talk to. I searched my phone and texted Ryan of what had happened. In my last message I sent to him it says that I really like him and itís been a long time. He replied that he felt the same way as I do. I donít know how and where I got the courage to tell what I felt. Iím really nervous, tense and at that time I felt bliss.†We decide to meet again. I ask for all the signs; though I never believed in such things it appears that I must see him. As we go on talking, he says that he likes to hear the Sunday mass, and I agree with it but the question is where. There are two places that we can go to, the old church and the grotto. The grotto is also called Hands of Jesus, a place I never been even once because I made a promise to my self that I will only go there with the man I will truly love forever. But it came up that Ryan is the one Iím with when I got there and I prayed that ďHeís the OneĒ. From then, we started seeing each other and later on he became my boyfriend.†Our relationship was not known by my parents because Iím too scared to tell them about it and for sure they will not agree with it. It was Christmas Eve when we were caught by my mom, at first she took it to hard but at the end she accepted him but my father does not. He do not allowed our relationship, though Iím afraid of my father I fought for him, in the later part he let us continue our relationship.†I thought after those things, nothing can break usÖ†Ryan graduated with the course of Nursing and he had to take the board exam. I didnít ask him where he will have his review. From a certain occasion his friend asks him where heíll be taking it and he answered that it will be in MLA. He still visited me whenever his free but the last time, he saw me with my first boyfriend whom is only my friend after we split up. We started arguing about it and became one of the causes to the fall of our relationship. We broke upÖ†It became hard for me because we still exchange sweet words and he called me, I felt that he was just playing with me but I still considered that there is still ďusĒ between me and Ryan. I confronted him and I ask him if there is still ďusĒ or if there is none or if he was just making fun of me. It took a minute before he answered, I feel like breaking. I want to deny that I heard him said that he donít want to be in relationship ďwith me now.Ē I try to appear strong and just uttered ok. But I didnít hold that strong my tears begun to fell and itís difficult for me stop it. For a moment I took my breath and asked if there is someone else involve, if he had another girl. He said that there is none because heís not ready to be on another relationship ďnow.Ē Ryan tried to explain the reasons for it, first is that heís too pressured with the exam, second is that because we had so many things to learn and lastly because he donít want to feel bad for not doing his responsibility to me. So he had to give up on me and everything we been through? He said that he wants to see me, but I refused to. I know it will be harder for me if I let that happen for heís not committed to me anymore. And then he started to look sad saying that itís difficult for him. If only he knew that itís more difficult for me because I know I got to sacrifice everything for his dreams and having the fact that above all, he became tired of holding on. I just uttered that prioritize his exam, forget that he had responsibility with me and everything that is important for him also means the same way for me. As parting words I promised that I will wait for him and he said that heíll be back and find me and if that happens he will never let go of me again. And we bid our bitter goodbye.†I never heard anything about him from them. He didnít answer the phone when I call nor to replied to any of my messages. I change my number; he didnít know about it, Iíve just done it to know if heís really busy. I texted him and asked if he can be my text mate, later on he used to called that number and it is my friend that answered the phone fearing that he will recognize my voice. I realized that he completely doesnít care about me anymore. I cried over it every night knowing that I canít be remembered by the person that I will never forget. A girl that waited for him, whom he said as special became a perfect stranger and became nothing for him at the end. He gave time to those he didnít know but me, Iím always the forgotten, as if he never knew me. It really hurts me. I said my last goodbye to him but didnít even try to hold me back.†From then my life became a total misery. I almost lost myself, my grades got affected and I didnít do that good compare to what I am before. But at a moment I realize that I should not end everything this way because of a guy that I truly loved left me. I learned to fight for myself and not to be too dependent with the people around me because at the end I know itís only I that I can trust. I tried to move onÖ I really did. Itís been four months since then and all the times I had with him cannot be erased and with all the anger that I felt for himÖ I always knew that I will love him and in my heart it is only him, standing and waiting until our paths crossed again to make that promise came trueÖsomewhere down the road.†By:maymay8811@gmail.com.

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