Love at First Sight
I had been single for ten months. Ten months of freedom and nothing but happiness. I was out looking for fun. Good, clean fun with my friends. I wasn't feeling lonely or looking for a man the way many of them were. We had watched our friends from high school get married and have children while we went to college and became lost. Lost in the every day hustle. Lost in all the parties and the tests. This was the new test. Seeing who could get married first and who would hold out for the longest. Well i refused to participate. I knew love would find me eventually without so much as a push and it did.
We went to a little bar in our home town. A place where much older people go to socialize not party. The lights are never dimmed, there is no DJ, no dirty dancing. It's definitely not a place for a twenty something to meet a man. I wanted to go there because it's a good place to wind down after work and not worry about the social scene so much. I was not looking to meet anyone. I stress that because of what happened next.
He walked in. Wearing sandals and a tee-shirt with several holes in it, I never saw anyone so beautiful. I told my friends he was good looking and they just shook their heads and disagreed. We had different tastes when it came to men. He was tall, dark, and handsome. If that wasn't clique enough our eyes met across the room and we both sort of stared before I started to blush and had to turn away.
I turned to one of my friends and asked if she knew him. She didn't but one of her friends did. Now I'm a shy girl and I have never, NEVER, in my life asked to be introduced to a man. But something about him told me I needed to get closer. So I made a bold move and asked to be introduced. Honestly I was about five beers down so it was easier than normal to be bold.
My hands shook when he said hello and I saw those beautiful dark eyes up close. Those eyes lingered on me like he was trying to figure me out and I let my eyes linger just to take him in. It turned out he went to school with one of my sisters and was twelve years older than me. Twelve years older and yet so much more beautiful than the boys my age. For some reason him being thirty four didn't matter at all I was instantly hooked.
The bar was closing. I wanted so badly to stay at his side. I wanted to go where ever he was going. But I had only talked to him for about twenty minutes and my friends were wanting to leave. So when I left with my group to go to an after party I was surprised to hear that he was going too. I still don't know if he was going because of me but I will always pretend that was the reason.
He drove. I rode with one of my friends because I didn't want her to be alone. She spoke to me on the way there but he was all I could think about. I wanted him so bad I would have walked the twelve miles to get closer to him.
At the party he seemed shy. He offered me a beer and I took it. He lent me his jacket when I got cold. He smiled at me with those beautiful eyes. He was so funny and charming, everyone could see that I was living for him at that moment.
My friends and I went back to her boyfriends house and just a few minutes later he showed up. We sat on the porch and talked. He asked if he could kiss me and I said yes. He was such a good kisser. The first real man I had ever kissed. He took me home with him and we made love. Real love. Not drunken sex. We slept holding each other. In the morning the sun shone in through the windows and I saw his laugh lines and they were the most beautiful thing. Almost as beautiful as the crow's feet around those beautiful smiling eyes.
In the morning he took me home. To my surprise he didn't ask for my number and I was too proud to ask for his. But when I walked up to my door I glanced back and our eyes caught each others and I saw regret.
I cried for days. He didn't really want me. He didn't love me back. But to be totally honest, I was in love. I fell in love at first sight. I don't regret it and there is nothing to be ashamed of. And no I'm not crazy. After ten months of being single and feeling nothing, I felt everything. I felt infatuation, then love, then heartbreaking sorrow. He was the man I had dreamed of all my life. The man I still dream about. My perfect man. I have never seen him again. It's been eight years. I'm thirty now and I know I will never fall in love again. The great love of my life lasted only one night, but it was one night I wouldn't trade for years with any other man. My heart still beats but I don't think it will ever beat that strongly again.