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      Only him


So i had a dream about him, and i haven't dreamt of him in so long. His strong arms were around me and he was whispering in my ear. We were walking together and he was limping and i asked him if he was alright and he told me that if he wanted he could fly because he was with me. Then i woke up. I woke up to the truth. that we used to be friends and now we're not. that he almost has a girlfriend and never even looks in my direction. Last year i was head over heels for this boy. and he just never liked me back! and i never got it! what is his problem!? he drives me crazy! Every now and then i see him look at me in class, and our eyes meet and then i look away, or he looks away. or we both do. today in comp our teacher made us switch narratives and edit them. I think my heart might have died when he told us too. I yelled his name and he looked at me, clearly embarrassed for me to read his. (why should he be embarrassed if he doesn't feel anything?) so i gave him mine and he gave me his. and right when i began to read it i knew i was doomed. doomed forever to be in love with this kid. this is kid who is so good, but just got wrapped up in the wrong stuff. who's smart and creative and BOY can he write! His first sentence started something like this " it was a warm and brisk sunday morning and i was heading onto the football feild apprehensive and nervouse. i put my helmet on and it just felt right, like i was supposed to be here, right now." ohhh mannn when i read that my heart melted. and i couldnt put it down! my friend looked at me and whispered in my ear..that was a bad idea. and i know it was! i shouldn't have taken it! i should have stood my ground to my teacher and yelled "no! i can't! not unless you want me to truely die because of this boy! this beautiful, wonderful boy! who breaks my heart with every breath he takes!" but i didnt say that, i read it. and it broke my heart. and i realized that only way that he could actually break my heart was if i was in love with him. and now that thought never crossed my mind! but it does now, every second. i thought i i loved him when i read his paper, but that was only before i dreamt of him, i love him so much more now than i did earlier today that i think my heart might burst. he looks at me in class and i just don't know what to do with myself(why would he look at me if he doesn't like me!?) and every time i talk, he listens, and every time i smile at him he smiles back at me( why would he do that if he had noo feelings!?) everything i say in that class is directed to him. all i want is for him to know how i feel. and i will say this now, i will love him till the day i die. i promise i will. even if i find another there will always be room in my heart. and like he said at the end of his comp" and above everything i still have that memory of that on Sunday morning and no one can take it from me" well that's the same thing. so thank you, because no matter what i will always love him, and no one can take him from me.


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