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      Painful Love Triangle

     


I am married and thought I had moved on however have learned I have done everything but that.  I met someone shortly before I moved in with my boyfriend and start having very strong feelings for this other person and we had a short but intense affair.  I tried to forget him and ignored his calls and requests to talk and see me in attempts to move on from this "fling."  That is exactly what I thought it was and I thought this other person was a "player." I wanted to do right with my boyfriend and told him some of what happened but played it off like it was just because of stress and never completely told him the whole picture to protect him.  As time went on we got engaged and married.  It all happened so quickly but all through it all I kept thinking about this other person and could not shake that I had feelings for another man.  My new husband sensed something was not "right" with us.  2 months after we got married, I confessed everything--about the affair and it tore him up...we suffered through some rough months but eventually moved on and he has regained his trust for me.  Things were going well and I thought I had moved on.  It was a year later from my last contact with this other man, I decided to send him an email to express how sorry I was if I had truly hurt him.  I sent that email and from there we began talking and he knew I was married and expressed his anger about that.  Months later he confessed his love for me and that he always had loved me.  I have not seen this perosn in over a year! and was shocked to learn that he had these strong feelings for me and shocked to realize I love him too.  Since that confession and now learning that he will be moving to the same city that I am in, I have been a wreck--torn between being with this man and my new marriage.  I love my husband and his other man and am not sure what is the right thing to do--keep a marriage alive while I am thinking about someone else or be true to my heart and be with the man that I am so in love with after all this time.  Will the pain go away if I stay or should I run to this other man?  I am angry with him for telling me now when I feel as it was too late and every attempt I make to speak to him he is never there for me--telling me that he runs because he does not want to get any more hurt or fall more for me.  Since being married we have only seen each other once and have not done anything physical.  What do I do?  My hearts aches for this man yet I want to make everything ok for my husband.

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