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      The regret of knowing Mr.Big

     


He was the most gorgeous kid in school! everyone wanted him. And i'm not lying, every girl fantasized about him. Including me...He was a grade higher then me, and was the kindest guy i had ever met. he was so nice! he would say hi to anyone and everyone. One day i was walking though school when he saw me, gave me a huge smile with his perfect teeth and said "hey!" i then proceeded to trip and fall, however not after i stumbled saying something like "arhghello!" Needless to say i was mortified, however a couple weeks later i got a text. and it was from him! i screamed so loud i couldn't believe it!!! this guy was PERFECT! and he had just texted me! When i told me friends they were all extremely jealous. and i was extremely happy! I was a junior and he was a senior and it was going to be perfect!! After that we became fast friends, he would text me just about every night, bring me a present for my birthday and say hi to me every day in the halls. I quickly fell for him. We even hung out a couple times over the year! This guy was all i had thought he was, nice, kind, smart, funny, gorgeous and just plain amazing. He would tell his friends that he thought i was beautiful and it gave me so much hope! He would tease me lightly, and hug me tightly, i told him everything and all i wanted was to be with him. Then one day something happened, he texted me like every other night, and somehow the conversation turned into something else. He was talking with some girl, yet he told me that i would be his only regret after he graduated. I didnt understand what he had meant, and then he asked if it would be unfair to me to do anything. Once again i didnt understand, then he explained better, pretty much he jus wanted to get on me. And he asked if we could, and if we could keep it a secret. and you want to know what i said? i said yes. I know thats wrong, and i regret saying that because i have never been one of those girls that cheat like that. and i have never been a dirty mistress so to say. yet i like him so much i was blind to who he really was. I convinced myself that he actually liked me and thats why he was asking this. I know that i didnt really believe that, i then convinced myself to think that after we did anything it would only make us closer, and he told me that it would,, and i thought that he would finally see me, for who i really was, not just some girl that he thought was hott, i thought that he would finally like me. So for the next couple of months we talked and talked about what we should do, and where we should go. I felt so ashamed because at this point he had a girlfriend, and i knew it was wrong! and i hated it, but i liked him so much that i couldnt stop it! One day he dropped me off at my house after school and came in with me. We sat on my couch and laughed and talked and i was having a great time! and once again i realized how much i liked this guy! then he got up to leave so i walked over to hug him, he picked me up and slammed me on the couch, i then yelled out "heyyyy!!" he quickly got up and trying to brush it off as a joke, but i knew that he was disappointed. I just couldnt go through with it, i had morals and i couldnt do it to the girl, even if i didnt know her. I had to stick up for myself against all those jerks out there and for all the girls like me, and the girls who date these jerks. I am so sorry, to the girl i almost hurt. I never wanted too be like that, i regret what i almost did every day now. I know one thing for sure though, i will never cheat. EVER. its one of those things where you have to learn from your mistakes, i have. He was perfect, yet he was the biggest jerk of all. I havent talked to him for a while. hes gone now and we have stopped talking althogether. I saw him a couple of months ago, he ran over to me to give me a hug, i just stared at him and gave him a small smile. He knew something was wrong and just smiled at me and looked at me with his gorgeous blue eyes. I had liked him so much, and he had never cared for me. It sucks to realize that all our laughs, and all our time was nothing to him. I was just some peice of meat to him, he never really knew me, like i had thought i had known him. I think i was always care for him, even though hes a jerk, i cant help it. Although i know i will never do anything with him, and i probally will never talk to him again. I think about him sometimes, and how much he had hurt me. I would have been his only regret, and he is my  regret.

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