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      It Happened Again


I was "buddies" with a girl who'd dated a friend of mine and we became close after they broke up.  He was a jerk to her so I had no qualms about seeing her.  I was in college in another town, she was in her senior year of high school.  We did well during the long range relationship.  It was after she joined me  at the same university that she cheated on me.  It was so difficult that I dropped out of school and was devastated.  I got my act together after a few months and went back to school, but at a different city. 

I never had a steady girlfriend for about 5 years when I met a very special girl.  I opened up to her after a very long while, and she knew all about the pain I had gone through.  We eventually married.  A mutual friend (male) had tried to talk her out of marrying me, and I found out  one day that several of my friends had caught them together being rather friendly.  She denied the allegations, but I knew, just didn't want to and couldn't believe she would cheat on me knowing of the pain I'd gone through.   I just went on in the marriage with blinders on because I didn't want to get a divorce.  One day I came home from work and she informed me she was divorcing me.  In the end, she married the scumbag she was cheating on me with.  I could not fathom I was going to have to go through that pain again, but I didn't try to talk her out of it.  I told myself that if/when I got through that  pain I would not get emotionally involved again, because the discomfort from being alone forever beats the pain of losing someone.  That was 4 years ago, and I am alone, and trying to date again.  And i'm not so sure it's worth it to feel passion again. 


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