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      Too trust again!

     


Hey,

I have always trusted, I have never in the past felt the need to be suspicious and jealous.  I have found out recently that my boyfriend was cheating on me. When I found out  my stomach ached, my legs felt like they would no longer support me, I was in a fog. I cried in the dark to myself!!!  I trusted him.  I love this man, how could he do this to me!  Still he tells me he loves me but now I guess these are empty words with no meaning. I remember the day he told me he loved me, He made it special and romantic. Back in May he had asked me to move in with him, I take this step very seriously and thought long about it. I did it.  I have tried so hard to find ways to please him, it never seems to be enough. Lately he has been treating me differently, impatient with me and and other differences. I am walking on eggshells, blaming myself.  I discovered that there was this other woman in his life, Secret little meetings...They work for the same company so they are frequently together.  Is this some casual relationship which means nothing, can a man love you but have a little thing on the side?  I think some men think that there woman have this obligation to fullfill and if she doesn' t meet the expectations than he has every right to mess around.  Regardless as to whether this is some little fling or not, it is still wrong in my eyes. We are not married but I think when you move in with someone, it is serious.  I feel like I am just the roomate now, maybe that is all he ever meant it to be.  HOW CAN SOMEONE USE YOU LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! It hurts so badly!!!! Now here I am sharing his home. I confronted him about it and it it was turned around on me, suspicious and ungrounded. Well  it is a fact without a doubt.  The sad part is I want to believe him, I just can not except that he would do that to me.  I still want to believe that this woman is just a fling and means nothing.  I don't know what the next month will bring, I am so hurt and confused, I truely believed that he loved me!! IT HURTS SO BADLY!!!

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