His princess, my controller
i first met my ex 6 years ago when we started high school. over the summer leading to our last year at college i fell in love and thats where it began. i was 15 being one of the youngest in our year, and he was 16. we wernt even together a month and he slept with my best friend. typically i was blinded by my love for him and i blamed her. still to this day i havent spoken to her, it was 2years ago. Nathan was my world, my lover, my best friend and he had captured me mind, body and soul. i later went on to lose my virginity to this prick. we split up 6 months ago after he pushed me to far and to put it plainly beat the crap out of me after a friends party. he actually knocked me out for a few minutes after smashing my head off a metal fence, he flipped it and even went as far 2 bite my cheek after headbutting , punching and kicking me around for nearly an hour. it wasnt always like this.....
my baby, he cheated on me from day 1 but i always blamed the girl as it usualy happened when he was to out of it to care. this was a regular thing. when we first got together he dabbled in smoking a bit of cannabis with older friends. as the months progressed he became dependant on weed and smokes upto 10 spliffs a day! he started dealing around a year ago and also took a liking to cocaine. it was when he wasnt able to get hold of the weed that he became agressive with me. eventually this led to my being with him 24/7, except of course when i was at work 9 til 5, mon- friday i was always with him. he is a control freak and gradually without my noticing stopped all contact with my childhood friends and i became nays girl, the one that chilled with the boys. dont get me wrong he wasnt all bad. he referred to me as his princess and when he was happy smoking that shit and i wasnt being a pain he treated me just as that, a princess. material things cant buy your love though. and after a year and a half of being together and endless beatings and his 'bits on the side', i finally grew out of love with him. my baby is now addicted to cocaine and is currently on trial for a gang related fight, and is looking at 2-3 years behind bars. he calls me every week without fail and i know that in his sick kind of way, nobody will ever love me like nathan did and still does. i'll love him forever and i know he cant help the way he is. but the minute my baby raised his fist to me he lost my respect and for that i will never forgive him. just another lost case. im sorry nay i tried to help you, but in the meantime i lost myself and became trapped in your world.
please note this story and take it all in! once your man reaches for the drugs you must close the door. they say weed doesnt affect you but believe me it does i should know! it changed the once caring affectionatte baby of mine, into a possesive,control freak, with a violent temper and no will for life.
thank you for time in reading my story, i have skimmed all detail as there really is too much to tell, and memories hurt so bad sometimes. one day i will let you into more detail. i am once again the strong young person i was 2 years ago. he will always be my baby, and its so true when they say....
You cant help who you fall in love with <3
princess T x