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      Not what i thought he was


it was in the seventh grade when i met this guy. i really don't know i just seemed to really like him. he went to the same school as my best friend and had the same classes. one day he saw a picture of me on my best friends binder and said i was beautiful. so i just wrote him a note you know what middle schooler's do. telling him that i want to get to know him. it didn't really work out soon i found out that he liked my best friend so i just left it alone and went my own way.


well 2 years have past and yes i have forgotten about him. til one day when i was on myspace. i got a message from him. he asked for my number and so i gave it to him and we talked about everyday. but at that time i was going out with someone. so we were just friends. when i had problems with my boyfriend he would be the shoulder i could lean on.


few weeks have past and i started to realize that i was starting to grow feelings for him. it was kind of messed up that i was still in a relationship but the man i was with wasen't making me happy. so we got really close, we could talk to each other about everything. until one day my parents told me we had to move. the place we were going to move to was about  4 hours away from him.


when he called me i broke the news to him and we both were very upset. i liked him and he liked me and i knew this move was going to seperate us just a little bit. and i was terrified about that. but unfortunatly my parents never changed their mind so we moved. i soon broke it off with my current boyfriend and got with him. we discussed alot about how we were going to see each other. our parents didn't even know we were together.


i soon told my mom about him and he came over to my house and met my parents and we just realized that his dad can drop him at my house every 2 days every month. that sounds like we never got time with each other which was true. but we just tried to make it all work because we loved each other. so he would come over and spend the night and stuff and tried to make our long-distance relationship work.


one night when he came to spend the night i gave up something that was so precious to every girl. yes my virginity. i thought after that we was going to be together forever. but then suddenly our nights of just talking on the phone turned to ever lasting arguments. i noticed he was changing.


he came over to visit me and we dicided to watch a movie. when we got home we both had sexual contact again. we had sexual contact 3 times including this one. 2 were unprotected. well that night was the last time he came over. the arguments grew and were unstoppable. 


til he got fed up with it and broke up with me. i was so heart broken i didn't want him to leave me!!! few days after that he told me that i might be pregnant. so i took a test. AND IT TURNED OUT POSITIVE. i told him and all he suggested was abortion. i couldn't believe it! he didn't want the baby! i thought so much on what i should do.


i looked back on my life i never grew up without my dad. and i din't want my baby growing up without one either. i want my baby to have a real father not a step one. so i had the abortion. my ex was never there for me during that hard time. he was to busy fooling around with other girls. so i went my own way again and got my strength to love again.


rite now im with a man that was there for me during that hard time we have been going out for 4 months and 10 days. he really respects me and loves me for me and he will do nothing to hurt me. he helped me get strong and feel loved again. myex was noting i thought he was. and i am so happy i am not with him anymore.


now im much happier. but i am still hurting about the abortion.


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